FabSwingers.com forum: Touching etiquette...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What are people's views on being touched at a club.

I will always make it clear that I'm not happy to be touched unless I invite someone to. I will also always ask before i touch someone.

How uncomfortable it is if someone touches you after you've made it obvious you don't want to be.

I'm a pretty confident woman and more than happy to say... Please stop. But I shouldn't have to ..

Ginge x

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By *lcoupleneCouple
over a year ago

morpeth

We’ve only been in a club with firm boundaries. No one is involving themselves unless invited to do so. You are right you shouldn’t need to say no it should be a given!

L x

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Etticate and rules in any club is ask before touching.

We've only ever had a guy once who kepted touching even after being told no several times. He was ejected from the club.

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By *nigmatic x DivinityCouple
over a year ago

Up town top ranking

"What are people's views on being touched at a club.

I will always make it clear that I'm not happy to be touched unless I invite someone to. I will also always ask before i touch someone.

How uncomfortable it is if someone touches you after you've made it obvious you don't want to be.

I'm a pretty confident woman and more than happy to say... Please stop. But I shouldn't have to ..

Ginge x

I make it clear, I don't want to be touched, Myself and partner play for hours together in the open rooms with toys etc, We role play alot too.

If I'd like you to join in the role play I will invite you.

Enjoy watching, however if it's not what you want, please go off and fulfil yourself/ selves with whatever kick gets you going, I hope you enjoy your night. I think it's disrespectful to just be touched without asking or invited . I'd never do that EVER

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

Unfortunately it happens, a lot. I think in play situations people are well behaved but I've felt sick after being touched affectionately just in the bar (hand on shoulder sort of thing). This is why there are certain clubs I won't return to, as complaining seems to achieve nothing.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

The club should make it clear it's no touching unless invited, I've even seen signs in some venues

It doesn't make me uncomfortable saying no,I tell them politely the first time & not so politely and a lot more loudly the second time

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Ok the my general hard and fast rule is no touching without asking or being invited.

However and I will say this weekend I have realised that this whilst is a generally a good rule to stick to, some couples/single ladies would prefer a more assertive approach and to some extent single men.

Now this is where I think the line gets blurred and grey, and there are issues that lead to mid communication. So sometimes a person or people give mis read touching signals be it that they may want to be touched or the may not want to be touched

I was touched by a lady on Friday night. Let her touch, then said ooo you should of asked in a camp but soft way. At first she was taken a back that a guy would say it. Which caused me to think she had taken offence. After a brief chat we both agreed taht actually I made a really good point. Single ladies I am less funny with but if it’s a female of a couple then I can be more wary esp if I think they don’t play with singles

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We've found that most people can read the situation when it comes to touching. We'll normally start off in a club, playing on our own in open rooms.

If another couple join us on the bed (or we've laid down near them) then it's generally obvious if they're into us or not. If we're getting signals that they do (or we're giving signals to them) then we find a light touch or stroke on an arm, lower leg, back etc can be an acceptable opening gambit. If they or we clearly recoil then that's the end of it. If they reciprocate then it's game on

Diving in and grabbing a boob, cock or some ass with no preamble is not cool.

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

We have been in situations when guys (both single and in couples) touch when we're not even playing. It definitely comes across as a try-it-and-see approach. It's unlikely most would ever do that in a vanilla bar! Saying that, male has also had females touch him without asking which they probably think is acceptable as the previous poster said. If it makes you uncomfortable then it should definitely be raised as an issue

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"We have been in situations when guys (both single and in couples) touch when we're not even playing. It definitely comes across as a try-it-and-see approach. It's unlikely most would ever do that in a vanilla bar! Saying that, male has also had females touch him without asking which they probably think is acceptable as the previous poster said. If it makes you uncomfortable then it should definitely be raised as an issue"

It isn’t acceptable from either sex tbh. In a regular bar / nightclub I have seen really inappropriate hands wandering. Which you would think bloody hell if that was in the swing world then something would be said

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By *ake-Me-FeelWoman
over a year ago

Sussex

[Removed by poster at 14/03/22 09:46:45]

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By *ake-Me-FeelWoman
over a year ago

Sussex

" It isn’t acceptable from either sex tbh. In a regular bar / nightclub I have seen really inappropriate hands wandering. Which you would think bloody hell if that was in the swing world then something would be said "

This!

Before I started in this lifestyle, and would go to regular bars/clubs (when I was younger), the amount of men that would grab and touch me and my friends was ridiculous. (And I'm sure it happens/ed the other way around but Women to men) I got very good at telling them to fuck off.

I have found the swinging club scene to be so much more respectful and I have always felt safe so far. Its lovely being able to wear next to nothing and not feel like you are going to be touched/grabbed etc without permission.

If I was chatting to people, the most touching I would do without asking is probably a touch of an arm, but not in a weird lingering whilst staring at them way. Everything else is permission first. It shouldn't be awkward to ask if you can touch someone.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

A friend of mine touch my chest Saturday night only because she whipped my on Friday and it flicked up and caught me higher than either of us had planned. I flinched at first but it was like she was being nice to ask how was it

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

This!

Ok but in fr example a group sex situation on Friday, a good female friend was playing with her partner and I didn’t feel right in asking to touch but then a lady who was near me, I did ask. I think you have to read when you have to ask or wear a visual or physical is ok

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We've found that in clubs the majority understand the touching rules etc, but unfortunately you'll always get at least one know head who doesn't get it.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"We've found that in clubs the majority understand the touching rules etc, but unfortunately you'll always get at least one know head who doesn't get it."

*Knob Head obviously!

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By *itzi999Woman
over a year ago

Slough

"What are people's views on being touched at a club.

I will always make it clear that I'm not happy to be touched unless I invite someone to. I will also always ask before i touch someone.

How uncomfortable it is if someone touches you after you've made it obvious you don't want to be.

I'm a pretty confident woman and more than happy to say... Please stop. But I shouldn't have to ..

Ginge x

Sadly there are men who not only try and touch but also try to force their penis onto you too. They get a swift “No” and if they still persist, they get thrown out. Just remember, unwanted touching is sexual assault.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

It's difficult. Partly because it's not always a verbal permission or denial. However I think most people know when it's OK or not. Sometimes people can get it wrong, read the signals wrong. And simply you tell them no and they stop. But unfortunately there are those who clearly read the negative signals and persist knowing its wrong anyway and/or persist when clearly told no. Its very important not to let that behaviour stand and to let the club management know.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I’ve had to say no thanks a few times when I’ve been with a female friend. Never had a problem with people not accepting it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve generally found most people ask. One or two haven’t and have been told no, which has meant they have left it at that.

When we’re fully playing and there’s a group, it’s a little more open with occasional touching from others who haven’t asked but again most ask or we make it clear to any new arrivals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's 1 on 1 or in a smaller group then I'd expect people to ask out of politeness, I wouldn't be overly upset if they touched without asking me but I'd definitely expect them to stop if I say so!

In a larger group I'd be fine with people touching or diving in so to speak, but again, stop if told xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (owl) agree in full with you Ging. I'm not expecting to get touched up in a club though I've never been and Pussy cat has had experience when she went in the past. If either of us are touched and we ask them not to and then they do it we shall report them to the hosts or security if present to have them handle the situation. If there is no action taken then I will react violently for any further transgressions. Despite the location it is still a sexual assault and you have the absolute right to decide who does and who does not touch you and I feel you should maintain your rights. x

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