FabSwingers.com forum: Single guy first club visit

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all, so I’m a single guy which seems to be pretty difficult on here but I’ve been wanting to visit my first club for ages but just haven’t had the courage to do so yet.

Anyone got any advice if it’s a good idea? What’s it like as a single guy in a club?

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By *eordiesCouple
over a year ago

newcastle

Turn your question round.

How do you think it will be for a single guy in a club ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I mean I’m not sure as I’ve never been to one. Ultimately I’m not a shy person but just the thought of going on my own makes me nervous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just pull your big boy pants up and go there are many of single males and females that go alone the first time I myself are one of them and never looked back.

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By *ldestswingerintownMan
over a year ago

Lancaster

"Nervous"? - of what, exactly? The majority of people at a club are looking for the same thing - a sexual encounter. Watch what's going on, and if you enjoy it that's great - you might get a chance to join in. But note that as a single male you're not "entitled" to anything - you have to work for it! I have to say that if you're older, overweight and/or unattractive it might be harder for you (I know!). Apart from that there's the usual male fear - I might not be able to get it up, especially in company! That might take some overcoming (if you'll pardon the pun!), but it can be remedied chemically. Many years ago I took a deep breath and went to my first club - and I've loved them ever since! It's well worth it!

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By *ayneMan
over a year ago

Pleasure Island

Thinking of attending a club myself but i totally understand no matter how big a person is, a human is always afraid of the unknown.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm looking to go to a club, but until very recently I didn't even realise they existed!!! There's none in Aberdeen and only a couple for Scotland on the whole. So for me going to a club will be a massive adventure that will need a fair bit of planning. Even as an independent grown man, the family asking why I'm going down to Englnand for a couple of days freaks me out as I have absolutely no other reason to travel, so I know there would be a million questions that I just couldn't cope with answering! Happily though, I do have to go down this month with a real reason, so I'm definitely going to go to one when I'm there! Can't wait

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By *-Jay.Man
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I went yday to my first eva club and i must say be relax go do what tou would do in nightclub social drink and chin wag and if get a vybe ask question nevver no what happens i had an orgy 2 girls ?? hottub was fun but everyone is kind more laid back everyone is respectful if you give same back dont be pushy if it happens it happens.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Thinking of attending a club myself but i totally understand no matter how big a person is, a human is always afraid of the unknown.

It’s only unknown until you walk through the door!

If you go with an open mind and no expectations…. Then you have nothing to scare you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm looking to go to a club, but until very recently I didn't even realise they existed!!! There's none in Aberdeen and only a couple for Scotland on the whole. So for me going to a club will be a massive adventure that will need a fair bit of planning. Even as an independent grown man, the family asking why I'm going down to Englnand for a couple of days freaks me out as I have absolutely no other reason to travel, so I know there would be a million questions that I just couldn't cope with answering! Happily though, I do have to go down this month with a real reason, so I'm definitely going to go to one when I'm there! Can't wait

Are you married?

Only asking because trying to understand why at 43 you still have to tell your family where you go and why?

Not told my family where I go and why since was in my teens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you married?

Only asking because trying to understand why at 43 you still have to tell your family where you go and why?

Not told my family where I go and why since was in my teens. "

No, not married, but the mother of my 2 bairns asks me what I'm up to most days so we can plan my access, and my nosey family all live in close proximity, so the "what you up to this week" conversation happens relentlessly. "Fucking off down south to go to a sex club" is not the answer I want to be giving them.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

OP you are lucky to live near Quest, a small friendly club perfect for a first visit. You can just play pool or sit in the jacuzzi. Relaxed and no pressure. Give it ago !

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

It's just like going to the pub, socialise and be friendly and the rest you will soon work out.

Don't go with any expectations apart from meeting new fun people and then anything else is a bonus.

The first time I went to a club I was wearing a dress!! That was interesting, lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone got any advice if it’s a good idea? What’s it like as a single guy in a club?"

Im a single guy and went to a club for the first time in November 2021. I was lucky enough to meet my fwb there and she introduced me to another friend so we all had a nice social evening! However it did teach me that I wouldn't go alone as a single guy as I'm not really that confident to go chatting to strangers in that sort of environment. However I did notice alot of the single blokes there seemed to be doing exactly that, sitting alone or with groups of other single men and looking nervous and perhaps abit expectant that women would come and talk to them.

So as you say your relatively outgoing and confident my advice would be to go, make an effort to be social with people but without crossing the fine line between socially pleasant and being a pest flitting round and trying to chat up every person in the club!

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By *orkswatcherMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"OP you are lucky to live near Quest, a small friendly club perfect for a first visit. You can just play pool or sit in the jacuzzi. Relaxed and no pressure. Give it ago !"

My local club but never been. Curious of what to wear. Do you go naked in the jacuzzi or in swimwear

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 16/01/22 09:06:57]

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Oops removed in error.

You wear smart casual clothes in the bar and go naked in the jacuzzi. You can get dressed again afterwards but most men then stay in boxers or a towel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" However it did teach me that I wouldn't go alone as a single guy as I'm not really that confident to go chatting to strangers in that sort of environment. "

This is why I would really struggle with going to a for the first time club alone. It's been suggested to me so many times, but if you're an introvert personality like me this sort of thing is really, really difficult, even in the vanilla world!

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By *ack and jill123Couple
over a year ago

Merseyside

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I'm strongly introvert, very shy, and had little confidence. But the club is a safe place in which to push yourself.

I kept going, and I made myself talk with people. As you find friends there, it gets easier. It does take work, and you will have bad nights. But I've found it well worth the effort.

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By *orkswatcherMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Oops removed in error.

You wear smart casual clothes in the bar and go naked in the jacuzzi. You can get dressed again afterwards but most men then stay in boxers or a towel. "

Thanks

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By *portyndNaughtyMan
over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley

I posted this few weeks ago on a similar question:

As single guy just remember to do your research, you need to find the right club to attend some can be very clique when comes to newbies.

Most clubs are reliant on single guy numbers you will be charged more than couples and singles females.

Personal space, appearance and hygiene are imperative.

Be sociable have fun don’t expect it

Because you paid and entry fee is just that, it doesn’t mean you are going to get anything more than you put in.

Consent - no means no, always ask.

Carry condoms, wipes and a towel. If you have condoms usage blockage forget it bareback in clubs are a no no.

When chatting to a couple don’t just addres the man/woman…it’s rude

A personal tip don’t eat the finger food, if you do wash your hands before and after.

If you find yourself following a lone woman or a couple around…don’t.

Some couples like to show off; as a single guy you’re their audience and nothing more.

If you are shy, not confident and most of all incapable of initiating a conversation, going to a club could be an unpleasant and daunting experience.

In case you are lucky enough to have fun you need to be able to engage in group action or at least a MFM situation where the woman is always the centre of attention. If you can’t do that a club may not be the right choice.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't do the solo male loitering or perving just say hello and ask Ok if I watch, touch, join you, hanging around does not work, why should it, few solo males "pull" due to their irresistibility!

and if you do pull do not outstay your welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wheres Dolli's post?

....slacking....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried Quest for the first time Friday night.

Don’t do what one single guy did and ask a lady if she’d touched a knob, yet that night…. And then wave….it around! Apart from that, everyone was lovely!! Can you go with a friend who’s never been before? Friday nights are single guys allowed - I need to look at what’s on all the other nights! I’d just avoid going up to two women who are in the middle of a conversation as it’s just a bit awkward for everyone. If you go up to a couple, address Mr first and then Mrs and say it’s your first time and you’re there to socialise. Takes the pressure off you and everyone will be happy to tell you stories. I’m no expert but having done pandoras and quest both for the first time recently, I feel I want to help the genuine ones haha there’s so many idiots on fab that give all the single guys a bad name but, I’ve met some lovely single guys over the last couple of months! Have fun!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I had this a week ago. Plucked up the courage and went along to Annex greedy girls night. Was made to feel very welcome and seen it as a normal pub with a bit more going on in the background. Didn’t have any expectations when I went, spoke to people was friendly and had a great time. Just do it once and get them initial nerves out the way.

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By *eordiesCouple
over a year ago

newcastle

"Hi all, so I’m a single guy which seems to be pretty difficult on here but I’ve been wanting to visit my first club for ages but just haven’t had the courage to do so yet.

Anyone got any advice if it’s a good idea? What’s it like as a single guy in a club?"

So have you visited a club yet ?

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