FabSwingers.com forum: Inappropriate behaviour in a club!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Last night we stayed over at our local club. It was fairly busy which was good.

Our one niggle was that certain people thought it acceptable to grab the other half as she walked past. He must have thought this was okay given the fact we had previously spoken to this person. Another male made comments as she walked past later on.

Men.... don't think because your in a swingers club you can do as you please, if it was anywhere else you wouldn't act like that??

Or are we just a bit out of it??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in agreement with yourself it doesn't give them the right to even go there!

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

I agree, that it's not a free for all but at the same time we accept "heavy flirting" as afterall we're not in Tesco!

Kate had a guy shove his hand right between her legs once when I was in the toilet, ironically he'd spent the previous 10 minutes telling us how important etiquette was!

On the flip side for the first time last night I was wearing a n outfit in the club and I got groped a few times and my arse slapped.... And I bloody loved it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have a problem report it to the staff, if the staff wont sort it out its not the kind of club i want to be in anyway, people only get away with things as long as they are allowed!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Should add that neither of guys involved were single!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would think if you don't do that in a pub you shouldn't do it in a club .How would a guy like it if a gay guy made a grab for him .It might be at a swingers club but not a sweet shop nobody should help there selves unless invited

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a hand goes near me without my permission said hand will get slapped away and a polite f off no thank you will be given x

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

We've yet to experince a club, do incidents like this happen often?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They can usually in an open room or octopus hands in the jacuzzi x I dont mind the flirts outside the playrooms but then I am single x Rather enjoy the odd spank as I am walking up the stairs x

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By *ive it to usCouple
over a year ago

cheshire

Weve been to lots of clubs over the last 13 years. Usually you get blokes following you in a almost train like fashion. Often get rubbed past or bum pinched or felt up but its easily sorted. Only time we had a real problem was when we were in a club in brum and i got pounced on when my hubby was at the loo. Luckily he got back just in time punched the bloke and knocked him out cold! He is not usually a violent man, but needs must! We stayed and he was thrown out.

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"They can usually in an open room or octopus hands in the jacuzzi x I dont mind the flirts outside the playrooms but then I am single x Rather enjoy the odd spank as I am walking up the stairs x "

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Weve been to lots of clubs over the last 13 years. Usually you get blokes following you in a almost train like fashion. Often get rubbed past or bum pinched or felt up but its easily sorted. Only time we had a real problem was when we were in a club in brum and i got pounced on when my hubby was at the loo. Luckily he got back just in time punched the bloke and knocked him out cold! He is not usually a violent man, but needs must! We stayed and he was thrown out."

I'd be likely to slap anyone that touched me with my say so!

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By *upitersmileCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I'd be likely to slap anyone that touched me with my say so!

*without my say so even!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we attend clubs local to us and can honestly say we dont have a problem as yet but have encountered another couple have a problem but the owner was fantastic and swiftly exited the problem out the door .It was dealt with so well that we would always go back there as made us feel very safe .

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By *enninemarkMan
over a year ago

huddersfield/manchester

As a single male I have sometimes been appalled at some behaviour. I will generally wait until invited or the lady starts totouch me. If in doubt I would ask first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No touching without permission. Rule number one of a club. Had a similar experience as the op a few months ago. Thanks to the management and staff of the club who gave me the confidence to carry on doing what I love.

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By *icked kittyCouple
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

On a recent visit to a club local to me lots of mutual fun was had by all.All the men were respectful but the whole atmosphere was ruined by one pleb saying it was the best £30 he'd ever spent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last night we stayed over at our local club. It was fairly busy which was good.

Men.... don't think because your in a swingers club you can do as you please, if it was anywhere else you wouldn't act like that??

Or are we just a bit out of it??"

Quite correct.

There is a respectful line between flirting (which is a 2 way thing) and basic appalling behaviour such as groping (sexual abuse).

Just because you are in a sex club, it doesn't mean you are fair game to being inappropriately touched by anyone.

When you are in sexy conversation a touch of the arm, a hand on the upper leg, by the knee (not inside of thigh), or maybe hip cuddling is ok for flirting (but you should be able to read body language and the signs clearly), anything else you must seek permission.

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By *icked kittyCouple
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Oops should have put that in context I had just finished giving a few gentle men oral pleasure it was commented on by other male members that the comment was off.ladies in the club scene visit for mutual pleasure and hedonism not to be treated like paid trollops .

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Should add that neither of guys involved were single!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen it and a man just grabbed my breasts in a hot tub . At first it was a shock but my man sorted it though he didn't have to punch. Him out though he wishes ihe had .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, plain wrong and rude!

That said, wished I'd get gropped whilst out....;) lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had the occassional unwanted attention.... men touching without asking.... A bit of a no no....

I have to admit the best one to date was when Mr J had me on a table with a few men watching play, which I had no problem with. There was one who had been there since the beginning, who was duly rewarded and allowed to play, a second gentleman tried, but was politely told no, he graciously stood back and accepted the "no". However, 2 minutes later a young lad waltzed in and thought it was OK to simply start touching... to be told by both Mr J and the second gentleman to take a hike, in unision.

Some men just dont know how to play in a candy store clearly...

S xxx

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Should add that neither of guys involved were single!!"

glad you mentioned that as I was one of the lovely single lads at the club....

seriously though, the only way to truely stop it would be to let the staff at the club know whats going on....

some people think they can get away with murder because they are part of a couple.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our last visit to a club was spoiled by two guys who lurked very close by and when we started to play decided to join in without asking first. One sat down on a sofa so close to me (the male) we were touching so I asked him to give us some space, he ignored me as I think he was too busy undoing his trousers. Before I could push the point further I realised the second guy was putting his hand up my wife's skirt as she was on her knees trying to give me a BJ. At that point I called it off and the wife and I retreated to the safety of a locked room.

Now don't get me wrong we enjoy the wife getting to play with lots of guys but it's only right that they bloody ask first before diving in. I know she's played with these two before but even so they shouldn't assume she's a dead cert.

Getting pissed off thinking about it again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair, I'd approach play at any swingers club in the same manner I would at a regular club, the only difference being that you can have sex on the premises and that the place is designed for just that...

I generally just enjoy chatting away to folk first and foremost as I'm a sociable guy (or maybe gobshite) and I usually find that in either vanilla or swinging social occasions you tend to get the most interest in you when you get on like a house on fire with ladies and their partners if they have them, whilst apart from a few subtle glances not giving any sign whatsoever that you're even thinking of them as sexually attractive...until of course sex is actually being had, when you can let your inner beast out!

It is true that women like a bit of abandonment and rule-breaking, but the guy doing the rule-breaking has to be a gentleman first and foremost! Most ladies love a rogueish bounder who exudes cultured wickedness. They do not love a desperate ham-fisted oaf who strolls around with his dong in his hand, permanently slavering over anything female he sees...

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Most ladies love a rogueish bounder who exudes cultured wickedness. They do not love a desperate ham-fisted oaf who strolls around with his dong in his hand, permanently slavering over anything female he sees..."

You took the words right out of my mouth.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

on a slightly different tack but still inappropriate behaviour in a swinging club - over the weekend we were in a club and a chap shouted across to Steve - 'oi, I know your face from somewhere' Not really great in that situation! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You took the words right out of my mouth. "

Why thank you sweet lady, it is gratifying to know my views are shared...

And in terms of inappropriate behaviour at a club, then giving it six-nowt with a roll up fag hanging out of your gob would be tops. Spluttering through your climax as you get the jester's shoes, dropping hot ash on all and sundry and perhaps setting off the fire alarm into the bargain in January so everyone has to cease their bliss and exit left into minus ten wearing either bugger all or very little...

Can anyone think of anything MORE inappropriate?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We were involved in a mmf once when a guy wandered up (he was fully clothed) and started groping the other half, at the same time he took his phone out. Not sure if he was about to take a photo or if he was txting. We stopped what we were doing and went back to the bar. It was reported to the staff and dealt with.

On this occasion we felt it was to minor to inform the staff. But we both felt that the actions of the people involved were inapropriate. Again I will add that none of the people involved were single guys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This all really puts me off ever going to a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont b put off club f r brill n wont put up wi any unwelcome behaviour x

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By *ovi CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Novi

T's has had fingers up her without permission, and cocks in her face at clubs in Bristol and Southampton. Really is beyond rude.

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Last night we stayed over at our local club. It was fairly busy which was good.

Men.... don't think because your in a swingers club you can do as you please, if it was anywhere else you wouldn't act like that??

Or are we just a bit out of it??"

You are certainly not out of it.

It's simply disgraceful behaviour and nothing else.

"WTF?" is what immediately sprung to my mind when I read this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have had a few encounters of people trying to help themselves to hunni and we tell them to back off. They mostly do at times. There was situation though that a woman was trying it with me in the hot tub at a spa in Bournemouth and although it was nice that a woman was taking interest in me, I wasn't really in the mood. Didn't know how to tell her to stop but she finally got the idea that nothing was happening down there lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was worried about going to clubs and blokes trying it on with my wife with out warning but as of yet it's not happened.

And I hope it never does as she is my wife and is out of bounds to anyone who is not welcomed by both of us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have found the situation getting 'worse' over the last 6 months. Nothing we can't handle, just maybe the guys aren't as respectful as they were when we started playing a couple of years ago.

Maybe there is a correlation between swinging becoming more widespread/acknowledged/amount of timewasters on here/disrispectful people in clubs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we've not had any real problems at a club....as said before the usual hoard of single men following behind...but have had it at a house party..by the host. he spent all night leering and appeared by my side every time r went to the loo or get a drink. touched met up and even bent and kissed my boobs while r walked in front of me.I felt embarrassed and as he was the host didn't like to make a fuss. the worst thing was it was all done behind r's back.

he was fuming...heard other similar stories about hosts. as its their show.....you are fair game it seems. funny thing was we had discussed this very matter with the host concerned earlier and he was slating another club owner for doing it.

I hope he reads this...you know who you are you sad knob !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My only few experiences of clubs are

Twice as a single, it was like sheep following every prospective female and a rugby scrum if anything even started to happen, way too many guys to females.

Twice as a couple, my god, I really feel for regular couples, even when we retreated to a locked room men were knocking on the door and trying the handle all the time.

I'm glad I'm bi and can occasionally go to the mens clubs, lots more respect and etiquette when it's guys with guys.

BTW a few mixed messages at the start of this thread about being slapped on the arse being a nice thing...confused!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This all really puts me off ever going to a club.

us too-every time I have a moment of weakness and think it's a good idea threads like this help me stick to my original thoughts about clubs

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

we hade a handfull of things like this over say 12 years of clubs so not to bad ,think the worst was at our local club when a young lad was told no we went into a locked room he tryed the door i opened told go away then 10 mins later he kicked the door clean thru i chased him out into the street

he was off before i even realized i had a semi on with me boxers

once at partners playing (her pet hate) and sum blokes just stuck his cock into her face

another time shes giving a bj and sum fella comes up behind rams his fingers in like a self tapper screw with a hammer ffs , we find a sharp reaction in a loud tone draws attension to the fella wee seemd to want scotty to beam him up deals with it

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By *oobiegirlWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

i met a couple on a private meet, the guy was really rough, shoving his fist into me! I asked him not to do it as it hurt, the second time he did it I shouted at him to sit and watch, the third time I swung round and punched him in the face, knocking him clean off his feet! He didn't do it again!

I was a bit Miffed at this point and the other lady was so apologetic. I stepped over him and left!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mate she goes to greedy girls nights and says sometimes can be a bit funny but she got a little tactic to help discourage it,

any guy that steps over the line or she is 100% not interested in that trys anything or wont take no for an answer she just says dead loud so everyone can hear in her most disgusted voice "URGGGGHHHHH NO NO NO , URGH NOT AT ALL"

she says it kinda works well as they shy away quite quickly not wanting to draw attention from anyone else that they been rejected in such a way, she said she tried being nice so many times and always backs fires in the long run, where if ur totally blunt with them they dont try it again and other guys who are the same get the message and stay away as well or make a proper effort with her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a single female... ive attended a club alone before and met 'up with friends there. Did have a couple of rude encounters were the guys thought i was "game" cos i was there on my own, which were unwelcome, but luckily my mates stepped in (without violence) and no more trouble was had. Hasn't put me off, as i tend to go to meet up with friends more than play....never go with an agenda

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I haven't been to clubs as much as some, but I've never seen any of these whazzocks, whether I go as a single guy or with a lady. Granted there's the dumb sheep that trail into the playrooms whenever folk go off to knock boots, but the total dickhead faction aren't around at least!

And parties I've been at have always been spot on too! I normally check the host(s) out carefully first though and can usually tell if they're well organised, just steer away from any that come across as desperate themselves or as folk who just go for numbers without putting effort into the quality of guests attending...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my mate she goes to greedy girls nights and says sometimes can be a bit funny but she got a little tactic to help discourage it,

I like that!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest we are noticing this type of behavour more and more, and not just from the single blokes, and to be honest the mrs is sick of guys in couples at the moment, we have noticed and experienced the grabbing, the following in clubs is unaviodable but can get abit much, some guys have tried to face fook the mrs and at first she pushed back, tried again pushed back again but with more force and when the cheeky bugger went for a third she got up told him off and we left vright there, spoilt the day but hey thats what happens. we have also noticed alot of lazy selfish blokes aswell expecting the fems to do all th work.

but believe there are plenty of decent blokes around aswell, so if we looked at it in the whole in the 7yrs or so weve been on the scene it is very limited, But believe as the scene gets more popular and bigger these type of occurences will happen more. But its not just this scene we went to a couple of Fet does last weekend and seen simalar going on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swingers club or not. Anyone touching without being asked or encouraged would be given fair warning and if it happened again would be given a fair slapping.

People should still show respect wherever they are.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I find that telling them off like they're a small child works wonders! ie loudly, in simple terms and make them repeat it back to you

So: is this your hand? "mumble"

I asked if this was your hand? "yes"

Did I ask you to put it there "no"

Did I ask you to put it anywhere? "no"

So why did you? "mumble"

Are you going to do it again? "no"

Are you going to do it to anyone else? "no"

Good boy, go away now.

Do this whilst holding the offending hand in the air in front of them so they can't run away till you let go. I had to do it last night ay couples night and his wife looked ready to hit me, but assault is assault, even in a swingers club.

As.for the ones.who try to grope while I'm playing; those I tell don't do that once, then if they do it again I ask the silent towel tuggers to deal with it - they're not daft, they.know that if I.stop play there won't be anything to watch and no chance of joining in so will generally deal with troublemakers swiftly without fuss. They're also handy at dealing with the commentators!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Last night we stayed over at our local club. It was fairly busy which was good.

Men.... don't think because your in a swingers club you can do as you please, if it was anywhere else you wouldn't act like that??

Or are we just a bit out of it??"

im in total agreement wiv u on thiz, very similar haz happnd 2 me in past and defo put me oaf goin bk 2 the club NO MAN should take it 4 grantd jst cause ur in a swingin club that ur there 2 b groped!! must remind ppl itz still sexual assaualt wivowt the other personz consent so plz bare thiz in mind b4 u MAN HANDLE otherz alwayz make sure ur actin in a curteouz manner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find that telling them off like they're a small child works wonders! ie loudly, in simple terms and make them repeat it back to you

So: is this your hand? "mumble"

I asked if this was your hand? "yes"

Did I ask you to put it there "no"

Did I ask you to put it anywhere? "no"

So why did you? "mumble"

Are you going to do it again? "no"

Are you going to do it to anyone else? "no"

Good boy, go away now.

I can so imagine you doing that! Telling them off like a naughty schoolboy. And I bet it works great, you're so good!! Loved your style so much. Brilliant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You took the words right out of my mouth. "

couldnt agree more wiv thiz comment

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Not had too much of a problem, Mrs W has a well developed look of distain! But we have noticed a dip in behaviour at our favourite club. i.e. d*unk people shouting and causing offence and eating in the couples room.

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By *rant981Man
over a year ago

london

I think with single guys they have the attitude that I've paid £xx it's my right to touch! Last time I went to a club my friend was blowing me next thing 6 guys think it's a free for all! It's was a sorry lads shows over now bugger off.

Worst thing to happen to me was a muppet who started a fight with me for no reason. Put me right off the house party it was at.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I think with single guys they have the attitude that I've paid £xx it's my right to touch! Last time I went to a club my friend was blowing me next thing 6 guys think it's a free for all! It's was a sorry lads shows over now bugger off.

Worst thing to happen to me was a muppet who started a fight with me for no reason. Put me right off the house party it was at. "

no offence... but the point being made is that is wasn't single guys who were the culprits here.....

it was men in couples who think they can get away with a lot more because they are in a couple, and I think that is a different issue and one I have noticed a lot more happening recently....

men in couples wondering around clubs like they are "singles" but wondering into couples only areas on their own..... but thinking they can get away with more, and women in couples thinking that have the right to grab anyone, man or woman just because they can.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

on my recent vist, after talking to the lady some time I knew she didn't want to be slapped and what her limits were!

A guy at our request joined us and have way through screwing her started to slap her face!

I soon put a stop to it, being the gent I am... even tough he didnt know, I would never do anything that wasn't previously agreed! Nor make a pass at anyone just passing! Guess it's down to manners and respect!

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By *exystargirlWoman
over a year ago

Warrington

I tend to go clubs when accompanied with a couple, doubt i'd ever go by myself as i just wouldn't feel comfortable. It's not just single men but some couples can be the same with their behaviour.

Personally outside this site, clubs are a fab way of meeting people without shouting from the roof tops that you swing. But i think they get overrun at times with people who think I've paid my fee and can do as i please!

last few times i've found staying at the bar works. As you can get to have a laugh, chat with other people, swaping numbers, even pvt house party

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By *orkieMan
over a year ago

Who knows

Only go to clubs as a couple and it invariably tends to be the lurkers who come up trying and in some cases almost succeeding to cop a feel of the lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The op doesnt actually state either single men or men from couples are the culprits from our personal experience we have had problems with both.

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

The OP does state neither of the guys were single guys, a few posts after the original.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bad missed that,

Like i say we have had problems with both at a club so just think its certain people but tend to either ignore, tell them to back off or failing that inform staff afterall we there for our enjoyment.

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By *reyyaMan
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"Our last visit to a club was spoiled by two guys who lurked very close by and when we started to play decided to join in without asking first. One sat down on a sofa so close to me (the male) we were touching so I asked him to give us some space, he ignored me as I think he was too busy undoing his trousers. Before I could push the point further I realised the second guy was putting his hand up my wife's skirt as she was on her knees trying to give me a BJ. At that point I called it off and the wife and I retreated to the safety of a locked room.

Getting pissed off thinking about it again!"

Couples! 'nuff said?

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By *reyyaMan
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

[Removed by poster at 28/10/12 12:30:00]

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By *reyyaMan
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

Worst thing to happen to me was a muppet who started a fight with me for no reason. Put me right off the house party it was at.

no offence... but the point being made is that is wasn't single guys who were the culprits here.....

it was men in couples who think they can get away with a lot more because they are in a couple, and I think that is a different issue and one I have noticed a lot more happening recently....

Couples! 'nuff said...

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By *reyyaMan
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"I was worried about going to clubs and blokes trying it on with my wife with out warning but as of yet it's not happened.

And I hope it never does as she is my wife and is out of bounds to anyone who is not welcomed by both of us.

One wonders if you wife has any say in this matter?

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By *ristolrobMan
over a year ago

bristol

i think this thread has got everyone in the "clubs are a bad idea" frame of mind...now lets put it into context... could everyone put on here about their good or amazing experiences at clubs...this thread would go on forever...ive been to clubs over the last decade both as a single and a couple and i can honestly say i have had 1 bad experience in all that time...im sure we could all list bad experiences from just about anywhere public...point being is that there are nutters and impolite peeps out there in all walks of life...that wouldnt make me lock my door and never go out though !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think my keeness to visit any club has truely waned.... Will stick to situations that i can control

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"i think this thread has got everyone in the "clubs are a bad idea" frame of mind...now lets put it into context... could everyone put on here about their good or amazing experiences at clubs...this thread would go on forever...ive been to clubs over the last decade both as a single and a couple and i can honestly say i have had 1 bad experience in all that time...im sure we could all list bad experiences from just about anywhere public...point being is that there are nutters and impolite peeps out there in all walks of life...that wouldnt make me lock my door and never go out though !!"

I agree with this. I've had one or two negative experiences in clubs but I've also had negative experiences on private meets - and also not-so-great experiences in ordinary pubs on a vanilla night out.

Let's keep things in perspective here.

On balance, we'll stick to playing in clubs where we have great social experiences as well as lots of sexy fun in a purpose built environment with a choice of playmates.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

We've been to loads of clubs over the years and never had a problem - sure one or two minor incidents wirh people who are socialy inept or just plain stupid! We love the clubs and would say if you havn't tried one to give it a go! Z

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