FabSwingers.com forum: Too young for clubs!

By *omanarab43287653975 OP Woman
over a year ago

london

I cant gets in any clubs you have to be 21 and I’m not but I can get in bars and clubs because I am a adult so not fair that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So.... You can drink, vote, smoke and gamble but you cant make adult decisions when it comes to enjoying your own, or anybody else's body. Bonkers when you think about it.

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By *ono100Man
over a year ago

liverpool

Won’t be to long befor you can go to a club , but there are house party’s that can be just as good

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By *ayswings69Man
over a year ago

walsall

"I cant gets in any clubs you have to be 21 and I’m not but I can get in bars and clubs because I am a adult so not fair that."

Awww that’s a shame

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By *AURA6969TV/TS
over a year ago

RUGBY

Unfortunately thems the rules bonkers it is but I suppose it's to protect young vulnerable people. It's the same as a landlord can refuse to serve without having or giving a reason just because he says so.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

The rules are set by the clubs themselves, and I'm afraid there isn't much you can do about it. Just like you can't buy over 50's life insurance.

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

If you are under 21, you'll be at the age that most club members sons and daughters are. A lot of people feel awkward about that. It could simply be that the rule is there to protect the sensitivities of existing club members. It ain't always just about you.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"I cant gets in any clubs you have to be 21 and I’m not but I can get in bars and clubs because I am a adult so not fair that."

I'm pretty sure Atlantis in the Stoke area allows over 18s. Check their website to confirm I'm correct.

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By *omanarab43287653975 OP Woman
over a year ago

london

Yeah that’s true

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By *ittleKinksCouple
over a year ago

Reading

This doesn't make sense... I'm sure a lot of members also have children over the age of 21, what about them?

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

Maybe get in contact with the club you're thinking of going to. As they set the age limits (unlike laws where they're duty bound to obey) if you show them that you're in the lifestyle and not experimenting for a quickie then they might give you an exemption?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the minority as usual...

But I think this site should raise the lower age level and match with the clubs

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By *dysseusukMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Like some pubs, probably to prevent the equivalent of boy racers visiting because they think it's a laugh, then get too d*unk, being disrespectful and causing a problem - letting down other genuine young people like you who might want to attend. Maybe if you can find a guy or couple older than 21 to go with you, clubs would be lenient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant gets in any clubs you have to be 21 and I’m not but I can get in bars and clubs because I am a adult so not fair that."

It is difficult, doesn't seem much out there those for under 30s.

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By *redy81Man
over a year ago

London

"If you are under 21, you'll be at the age that most club members sons and daughters are. A lot of people feel awkward about that. It could simply be that the rule is there to protect the sensitivities of existing club members. It ain't always just about you."

Yeah, for sure those people will retire from clubbing in 3 years time, so they don't need to worry about the embarrassment of being in the same club with 21 years old who is the same age as their children?

Following your thoughts some younger folks in their twenties or early thirties may also feel awkward being surrounded in a swinger club by horny men aged as their father (or granddad??), what would you think about that?

Being a grown personality doesn't come with a certain day neither at 18 or 21. I can't see any reason why clubs set different rules for themself as the law, but be fair, it's their choice.

I would rather decide on the individual's behaviour to let them stay or ask to leave.

(But as a 40-years-old I wish I could have the same problem as the OP.

)

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"Maybe get in contact with the club you're thinking of going to. As they set the age limits (unlike laws where they're duty bound to obey) if you show them that you're in the lifestyle and not experimenting for a quickie then they might give you an exemption?"

Totally agree with this approach, almost word for word what we would have said. To add, as with all adults just be steady on the booze, I'm guessing this maybe they're issue but believe me the older folk can be at times no better.

Good luck with the clubs

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"I cant gets in any clubs you have to be 21 and I’m not but I can get in bars and clubs because I am a adult so not fair that."

It's only 3 more years, good things come to those who wait.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"I cant gets in any clubs you have to be 21 and I’m not but I can get in bars and clubs because I am a adult so not fair that."

We will smuggle you in

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

I’m guessing the motives for the lower age limit are good and/or driven by necessity/insurance. Either way it must be very frustrating for you

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

I would contact the club you would like to go to and explain your age and situation. They might decide that you would be suitable for their guess list.

If not at least you have made an introduction for when you are 21 and only lost the few minutes it would have taken to contact them.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

If you go to an event which has a guest list and doesn't need membership, no one will know how old you are

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Nobody is forcing anyone to play with an 18 year old. If it upsets their 'sensitivities' they can avoid playing with her. She may be the age of their daughter, but she is not their daughter. She is an adult who can make her own choices.

Go for it, OP, phone a couple of clubs, explain your situation and offer some ID.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you go to an event which has a guest list and doesn't need membership, no one will know how old you are"

But if she looks young will ask for Id for drinking purposes

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By *ohn1953Man
over a year ago

Abergele

I remember the first time I went to a swinging club, I thought it would be singles and couples in there 40s onwards and when I went some was early 20s onwards but with the internet and people watching porn more young people want to experiment with sex and even share their girlfriends . But it’s about enjoying yourselves and they are adults so why not sex is to be enjoyed and now a days shared too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same issue , the only

Local club is over 25!

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By *inkyDuo XXXCouple
over a year ago

somewhere near you

There are clubs that are 18+, just not many of them so you may have to travel a fair distance. That’ll help if you drive OP. X

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"I'm in the minority as usual...

But I think this site should raise the lower age level and match with the clubs

I agree. I’d go 25+ tbh.

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By *omanarab43287653975 OP Woman
over a year ago

london

Yeah and 21 year olds aren’t going to be more mature than a 18 to 20 year old. It depends on a person not age.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"Yeah and 21 year olds aren’t going to be more mature than a 18 to 20 year old. It depends on a person not age. "

I think being able to deal with the emotional complexities of swinging is something that comes with age and life experience. My 18 year old self wouldn’t be able to deal with it, probably not my 21 year old self either, although at the time I would definitely have thought I could. I realise everyone is different, but I just don’t see how anyone so young could have the emotional maturity to not be damaged long term by being on the scene. I’m 40, most of my friends on here are a similar age and I don’t know any who haven’t struggled mentally at some point with some element of the scene. At 18 or 21 none of us would have had the tools in our emotional toolkit to get through it unscathed.

I’m sure that this probably makes me sound like a patronising old lady, but I genuinely just don’t think the scene is a place for anyone so young.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

not meeting, forums only

"I'm in the minority as usual...

But I think this site should raise the lower age level and match with the clubs

I agree. I’d go 25+ tbh. "
I'd totally disagree. I was swinging when I was 19. I've also met many younger swingers across the times I've been going to clubs and if someone has the right attitude age should not matter.

Clubs are a safe place for people to explore. And to be fair I think most clubs will allow over 18s.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a grown personality doesn't come with a certain day neither at 18 or 21. I can't see any reason why clubs set different rules for themself as the law, but be fair, it's their choice.

I would rather decide on the individual's behaviour to let them stay or ask to leave.

(But as a 40-years-old I wish I could have the same problem as the OP.

Well said my man. I couldnt of put it better myself.

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By *ffanotdykeCouple
over a year ago

Telford

[Removed by poster at 27/10/21 08:12:16]

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By *ffanotdykeCouple
over a year ago

Telford

What scares us is when some of the other members of our favourite club are younger than our grandkids. Or even worse when chatting a few weeks ago to a couple having a night out, having left the house in charge of a baby sitter, as that would mean they had a child who would have been old enough to be our great grandchild.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Try house parties?

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"What scares us is when some of the other members of our favourite club are younger than our grandkids. Or even worse when chatting a few weeks ago to a couple having a night out, having left the house in charge of a baby sitter, as that would mean they had a child who would have been old enough to be our great grandchild.

Probably they would be scared even more to have people as old as their grandparents having sex around them - yet you both have every right to have fun in a club.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Being a grown personality doesn't come with a certain day neither at 18 or 21. I can't see any reason why clubs set different rules for themself as the law, but be fair, it's their choice.

I would rather decide on the individual's behaviour to let them stay or ask to leave.

(But as a 40-years-old I wish I could have the same problem as the OP.

)

Well said my man. I couldnt of put it better myself. "

Absolutely well said

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I dont think there is any fixed formula to judge what age an adult is in the right place to attend a club. Age is a number and doesn't account for maturity, life experience, level of mental health, commonsense etc. I totally get that there are 25 year olds who maybe shouldn't be going to a club. However clubs do the best they can to protect the welfare of their guests. 21 sounds a more sensible age than 18 to me. Because for most a lot of growing up, life experience and change happens between 18-21. That's not to say there aren't 18 year olds perfectly in the right place to enjoy clubs, we all have different life trajectories. But because a club can't gauge on an individual level then 21 is a wiser age in terms of improving the chances it's guests are in a more mature state. Which I get totally suck for OP but is better for everyone on a whole and has probably prevented a fair few people attending who were to immature.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"I'm in the minority as usual...

But I think this site should raise the lower age level and match with the clubs

I agree. I’d go 25+ tbh. I'd totally disagree. I was swinging when I was 19. I've also met many younger swingers across the times I've been going to clubs and if someone has the right attitude age should not matter.

Clubs are a safe place for people to explore. And to be fair I think most clubs will allow over 18s. "

Totally agree with Cali here. I would ho as far as adding that if a club does gave this 21 and over policy to have some wiggle room. Invite the op for example to the club out of hours, show them around and get a general feeling for them, they just be mature enough for the their club.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

[Removed by poster at 29/10/21 02:09:05]

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I’ve clubbed across the north west for about 3/4 years now… in that time I’ve had 2 single men kicked out of clubs for in inappropriate behaviour.

Both over 30.

Age (legal obviously) isnt relevant. Most clubs make people attend an event before being allowed to be a member, usually (and hopefully!) having to show ID to join, perfect opportunity to discuss expectations and give tours and the likes.

Certain events get a younger crowd too maybe try those ones and see if their rules aren’t discretionary xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the minority as usual...

But I think this site should raise the lower age level and match with the clubs

I agree. I’d go 25+ tbh. "

I second that, who wants to bump into some who went to school with their kids???? No thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as they’re a consenting adult they should be allowed in a club. Would you all feel the same way if they put an upper age limit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as they’re a consenting adult they should be allowed in a club. Would you all feel the same way if they put an upper age limit?"

Yes if they said no older than 50 years - I'd be respectful with their decision!

Wouldn't bother me!

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By *parkybunnyCouple
over a year ago

Zurich. NOT London.

It's the clubs decision. Should the OP want to go to clubs, perhaps goto a social first, get some in person validations and then contact the clubs to ask about visiting once you have a meet verified profile.

Coming on here saying unfair just sounds petulant. If you want something, find a structured way to achieve it.

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By *wingersWhenYoureWinningCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

Townhouse, Wirral is 18+ - each club is unique, worth checking them individually

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

"As long as they’re a consenting adult they should be allowed in a club. Would you all feel the same way if they put an upper age limit?"

Some events do. They’re private members clubs, nobody has a right to go to them and you can have your membership taken away at club’s discretion.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"Townhouse, Wirral is 18+ - each club is unique, worth checking them individually"

That's good to know. Atlantis in Stoke is also 18+ and these are the two closest to where the OP lives..

Great that she has the chance to try two different clubs and see for herself.

It is up to members there to decide if they feel she is too young or not mature enough.

Everyone has different life experience. At 20 I had been married, widowed, was living alone and pursuing a career. Good job we aren't all the same.

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By *urreyVixenStagCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

You’ll find a lot of the private members club will have to be 21+ as that’s what their license states due to the nature of the business. They can have their license revoked if they’re found letting in people underage.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

"I'm in the minority as usual...

But I think this site should raise the lower age level and match with the clubs

I agree. I’d go 25+ tbh.

I second that, who wants to bump into some who went to school with their kids???? No thank you.

My mum is the same age as you, I could have gone to school with kids of someone your age… should we not be allowed to attend the same event?

Or because I’m over 25 is it ok?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as they’re a consenting adult they should be allowed in a club. Would you all feel the same way if they put an upper age limit?

Some events do. They’re private members clubs, nobody has a right to go to them and you can have your membership taken away at club’s discretion.

Odd events catering to a younger crowd is a bit different to most clubs being over 21. I’m not saying any person has the right to enter a club, it was more aimed at people saying the shouldn’t be allowed in because they’ve got kids that age. I’m 34 and Mrs is 27. We’re easily young enough to be kids or grandkids of some people we’ve met in clubs, should we be refused entry as well?

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