FabSwingers.com forum: First timer

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What would your advice be for a first timer. I can talk and sometimes… nearly all the time I can’t shut up but the initial taking to strangers I can’t do unless someone comes up to me. So any advice on getting into the club scene, what’s the best club around West Yorkshire. Etc any advice would be appreciated. Thanksss

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I totally understand that, me too. However you need to push yourself and engage people off your own back. It's scary and you may have some knock backs but just need to be brave and do it. It's all experience and you will get better at it and grow in confidence as you go along. This is the experience I got as a single guy in clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I totally understand that, me too. However you need to push yourself and engage people off your own back. It's scary and you may have some knock backs but just need to be brave and do it. It's all experience and you will get better at it and grow in confidence as you go along. This is the experience I got as a single guy in clubs.

Mr"

Yeah that is true, I often try to smile etc at random people but creating conversations seems impossible, the initial going up to someone then also holding a conversation as I’m possibly the most awkward god has created lol. But after the awkward phase, I get verbal diarrhoea lol

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"the initial taking to strangers I can’t do unless someone comes up to me"

Use the club to practice getting over that. I'm the same - I find it very hard to approach people. But it is a useful skill, worth learning, and a club is a safe place to do it.

I've found the smoking area (even though I don't smoke) and the hot tub are good places. They're quieter than the bar, and you get smaller always-changing groups. It's less intimidating.

Keep going back to the same place regularly. You'll get to know people, and then they won't be strangers.

The first few times at least, forget about sex. Make your goal to talk with people. Force yourself to do it. That worked for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"the initial taking to strangers I can’t do unless someone comes up to me

Use the club to practice getting over that. I'm the same - I find it very hard to approach people. But it is a useful skill, worth learning, and a club is a safe place to do it.

I've found the smoking area (even though I don't smoke) and the hot tub are good places. They're quieter than the bar, and you get smaller always-changing groups. It's less intimidating.

Keep going back to the same place regularly. You'll get to know people, and then they won't be strangers.

The first few times at least, forget about sex. Make your goal to talk with people. Force yourself to do it. That worked for me."

Wow, thanks for the advice mate. Appreciate it alot

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By *oved Up 2Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

Let the staff know it's your 1st time and they'll show you the club and may introduce you to some people there. Advice above re smoking area is spot on. Great place to join in conversations and get to know people. Good luck x

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Oh, also - things are not going to go perfectly every time. Not everyone is going to want to be your best friend. Don't take one failure as an excuse to give up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dunno about the clubs near you but we first went with someone we met on Fab and had a blast as for initiating things if your shy just get chatting and ask or you may be asked.

Otherwise just be flirtatious would be my thoughts as the person/people will most likely get the gist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On Dan’s note just be yourself, clubs are different every time. Don’t go in with the expectation of hooking up as most of the time it’s more about the social side as well. So don’t be disheartened if you don’t end up with anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m planning on my first club visit tomorrow and reading all the comments above has been really helpful so thank you all for posting and OP for asking the question.

I really like the social side of swinging and am going with no expectations of anything else happening. I’ll just be nice to meet up with some like minded people.

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