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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I'm planning some events at a club, that are especially for people who have never visited a Swingers Club before.

If you were chatting to a new lady, a new gent or a new couple at a club...what important information would you give them, and what advise or tips have helped you get the most out of a club visit ?

I'd love to hear your thoughts....

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By *ambscouple2015Couple
over a year ago

Not in Wisbech but near

Our advice to any newbie attending a club would be,

Please please please don't just find a seat and sit looking like your bored (when it's not boredom it's nerves) due to no one talking to you as most people will see you sat, looking what they think is bored, and not try to speak.

Just talk to people, ask if they have been before as its your first time and if the club is always the way it is (busy, quiet, mainly men, mainly couples. Insert what fits best)

Dont go with the preconceived idea that xyz has to happen as if it doesn't it coukd feel like the night has been a disappointment.

We go with the idea in out heads that we are going to have a laugh and enjoy a night out and that's it, we don't go thinking we have to play or the night is a waste as then if play happens it's a bonus and is a lot more relaxed as you don't have any preconceived ideas of what has to happen.

Hope that makes sense lol

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By *ambscouple2015Couple
over a year ago

Not in Wisbech but near

Oh and if you are a single male, don't be a member of the wanking dead, single males that don't speak and just wander around following couples and single females or stand out side a play area rubbing/wanking themselves groaning and then moan they were ignored and that the club/venue is crap as no one was interested in them. Put some effort into actualy speaking to people and you may well make some connections.

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Our advice to any newbie attending a club would be,

Please please please don't just find a seat and sit looking like your bored (when it's not boredom it's nerves) due to no one talking to you as most people will see you sat, looking what they think is bored, and not try to speak.

Just talk to people, ask if they have been before as its your first time and if the club is always the way it is (busy, quiet, mainly men, mainly couples. Insert what fits best)

Dont go with the preconceived idea that xyz has to happen as if it doesn't it coukd feel like the night has been a disappointment.

We go with the idea in out heads that we are going to have a laugh and enjoy a night out and that's it, we don't go thinking we have to play or the night is a waste as then if play happens it's a bonus and is a lot more relaxed as you don't have any preconceived ideas of what has to happen.

Hope that makes sense lol"

The bit about preconceived ideas is a great comment that I wouldn't have thought to mention. Thankyou. X

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Oh and if you are a single male, don't be a member of the wanking dead, single males that don't speak and just wander around following couples and single females or stand out side a play area rubbing/wanking themselves groaning and then moan they were ignored and that the club/venue is crap as no one was interested in them. Put some effort into actualy speaking to people and you may well make some connections. "

Brilliant. I'll make sure I cover this. Thanks for contributing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go during the weekday its much quieter and go early leave early. When you are first almost first there you can see people come in as you sat down etc - some will smile and say hi - talk to a singly or a couple when its quiet say its your first time - trust me it will help you to be at ease.

Most there, even single male, most are nervous and many may be first timers as well.

Just be aware of meeting people afterwards etc just et a mate know id poss who you are seeing/their mobile/etc if poss and a pic as there is no need to tell your friend where you met this person

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By *oss and BootsCouple
over a year ago

grantham, lincolnshire

I would say do and act as you feel. Don’t feel you have to talk to others because just sitting and people watching is absolutely fine. This is obviously easier if part of a couple.

Treat it like a normal night out at a pub. Obviously it’ll be more interesting if you do chat to others, just don’t put pressure on yourself.

Maybe on the second visit to a club you’ll feel more comfortable chatting?

I would also suggest not having a set plan.

On our first visit to a club we just played with each other in a locked room-that’s what we felt like doing and what we were comfortable with.

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By *inka-liciousWoman
over a year ago

Bolton

I host at a club and the first thing I say to newbies, is come in and expect nothing. The more pressure you put on something happening it won't happen.

Chat to people and see if there is a connection between you and others.

I also say to people that they do need to make an effort (as mentioned previously), but also ask the host to introduce you to people.

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

These have all been useful and reminded me of some of the things to cover when I greet newbies.

Anything specific for single men or single ladies ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would be nice if clubs held games or crates situations where everyone had to mix and chat. Perhaps create a speed dating system for the first hour where all the men moved tables and i introduced themselves. Or a quiz where you are randomly picked into teams. Just some excellent ice breakers. I know that want your question lol

To answer though I’d suggest you say hello to people realise a great conversation is often the making of a great night x

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

One thing we tell newbies is just because you speak to someone doesn’t mean you are interested in sex with them and vice versa. It’s ok just to chat!

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Would be nice if clubs held games or crates situations where everyone had to mix and chat. Perhaps create a speed dating system for the first hour where all the men moved tables and i introduced themselves. Or a quiz where you are randomly picked into teams. Just some excellent ice breakers. I know that want your question lol

To answer though I’d suggest you say hello to people realise a great conversation is often the making of a great night x"

We've done games at party events. You always get a few that are too nervous to join in and then want to join part way through and people arrive at various times, so it wouldn't always be feasible to do this at the beginning of an evening, and would disrupt the flow of the evening to do part way though. But I'm sure I could try something along those lines . Thanks for the suggestion.

Yes..starting a conversation is definitely essential .

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"One thing we tell newbies is just because you speak to someone doesn’t mean you are interested in sex with them and vice versa. It’s ok just to chat! "

Sometimes it is simple things like this, that is really important to tell newcomers to clubs. Great point. Thankyou

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By *en_Dover79Man
over a year ago

Oswaldtwistle


"Oh and if you are a single male, don't be a member of the wanking dead, single males that don't speak and just wander around following couples and single females or stand out side a play area rubbing/wanking themselves groaning and then moan they were ignored and that the club/venue is crap as no one was interested in them. Put some effort into actualy speaking to people and you may well make some connections. "

I am a single male and this type spoil it for a lot of us... Pet hate and very true in what you say...

get one in the club I go too.. we call him Pac-man as he is in and out of rooms and areas all night.. doesnt socialise with anyone just wanders and follows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankyou for the advice in here. I'm a single male and want to attend a club,but wasn't sure what it would be like alone.

I will attend a club in the North east and use the advice offered, thankyou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, all of the above plus ensuring that your newbie attendees are fully aware of the rules and etiquette of the venue.

-Doesn't have to be heavy-handed, maybe a few etiquette questions in a Newbies' quiz.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would be nice if clubs held games or crates situations where everyone had to mix and chat. Perhaps create a speed dating system for the first hour where all the men moved tables and i introduced themselves. Or a quiz where you are randomly picked into teams. Just some excellent ice breakers. I know that want your question lol

To answer though I’d suggest you say hello to people realise a great conversation is often the making of a great night x"

Omg I would literally die if I was forced into an ice breaker situation or coerced to mix during a game etc.

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Thankyou for the advice in here. I'm a single male and want to attend a club,but wasn't sure what it would be like alone.

I will attend a club in the North east and use the advice offered, thankyou x"

Shame you aren't North West or I would have sent you an invite for the newbie events that I am planning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We run a first timers night new to swing once a month with midnight affairs at penthouse why not try us you may love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really interested in going to a club for the first time but kinda nervous bout it

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Really interested in going to a club for the first time but kinda nervous bout it "

It's only scary until you're there. If you can overcome those initial nerves, I'm sure you'll love it.

There was a thread a few days ago called "Single women of the NW (club attending)". It's near the bottom of page 2 at the moment. Lots of positivity and support. There's a good chance someone there can help you choose a club and event, and be a friendly face so you don't feel alone when you get there.

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Really interested in going to a club for the first time but kinda nervous bout it "

This is the exact reason I am hosting these sessions. I'm just confirming the arrangements, but the first one is just for new single ladies. I can chat to you about my experiences of going to clubs as a single lady and discuss any worries as we have exclusive use of the club initially. Once the club opens

I can introduce ladies to some of the regulars who will be around to chat to throughout the night.

There will be no pressure on to do anything. The idea is to check out what goes on, have a chat, dance and get to meet some lovely people.

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"We run a first timers night new to swing once a month with midnight affairs at penthouse why not try us you may love it "

Gosh I'm surprised you run newbie events that frequently. I'll pm you to see if there is anything I've not considered. It's great to know other clubs run similar events.

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By *izzy. OP   Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"Really interested in going to a club for the first time but kinda nervous bout it "

I was going to pm you, but I'm outside of your age range. Send me a message if you want to chat about clubs or want to know more about the event for newbie ladies . It's on Nov 5th. X

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