FabSwingers.com forum: Disrespectful Single Guys

By *hilfi OP Man
over a year ago

Southampton

I went back to the club scene recently after a long break whilst I was travelling and working abroad. Maybe I was unlucky this time but a few (very) disrespectful guys left me worried that the negativity of that crap actually eclipsed the otherwise great experience for me of the lovely people, club and the play…

… and I say that as a single guy, for whom respect is a basic human trait. I was annoyed myself. God knows how it feels to be a lady/couple on the receiving end of some idiots.

Sorry, just needed to vent. I’m (still) so angry at those arseholes

PS. What do other single guys or couples recommend in such a situation? I did my best to tell them to behave, but they’re like wasps. You bat one away and then they or another come back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean, however I don’t think there’s to much that can be done, after all as the saying goes “you can’t educate pork”

If it’s a singe guy or maybe two, you stand a chance of them actually listening at best, ignoring at worst but getting embarrassed enough to leave! I see it a lot at clubs, some guys just grab, no pre chat, no introductions, just the expectation that they have paid the entry fee and now guaranteed fun!

Iv attended around 12-13 of the clubs in the UK, by no means does this make me an expert, but iv found for me, the clubs that’s suit and reflect my own views. Not blaming the clubs either, majority of the time it’s the guys! Couples and single ladies seldom respond with a what do you think your doing! And rather get up and leave. I understand this, but I’m sure it would help if the guys put in his place. I certainly interject if I see this behavior and the couple/ female is made to feel awkward. Some guys just need a pointer, others a brain!

Spoils if for everyone and no need! Outside the doors of the club it’s sexual harassment/ abuse! It’s no different inside…some think it is!

Share your pain! But not all guys are like this.

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

I go to chams, been going for a good few years ,lots of single guys ,I can't think of a single incident of a disrespectful guy.

In fact even in other

Clubs I've been to the worst ive seem Is perhaps intrusive voyeur behaviour from guys following couples etc when they walk towards the play room.

Met a few rude or couples tho ...

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By *eachy123Woman
over a year ago

Rochdale/Manchester/Blackpool and were ever the mood takes me

If anyones behaviour whether it be a single Male or female or couple in fact,make club staff aware of the situation.

If they dont know they cant rectify the problem rather than letting it spoil your experience, after all it's what we are there for.

I hope it doesnt put you off experiencing other clubs and maybe try giving the club another go on a different night ????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew this to be a problem in TV club nights, unfortunately encouraged by some, and by a misconception tv/ts are "easy".

Best suggestion is leave the concerned party to respond. Taking the moral position and trying to interject will often backfire.

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By *oved Up 2Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

"I go to chams, been going for a good few years ,lots of single guys ,I can't think of a single incident of a disrespectful guy.

In fact even in other

Clubs I've been to the worst ive seem Is perhaps intrusive voyeur behaviour from guys following couples etc when they walk towards the play room.

Met a few rude or couples tho ...

We're Chams regulars and there are disrespectful single guys sometimes (not often). If they don't listen the staff will deal with it by revoking their membership. It's incredibly rare that we've had an issue that isn't quickly resolved by a curt 'sod off' or similar if they haven't listened to us the first time we've said no

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

If there’s genuinely people making you uncomfortable, not respecting boundaries and being rude always just tell the hosts and staff. Wether single guys, couples or anyone else!

They all want you to enjoy.

I only play with single males and thankfully never had a bad experience in any of the north west clubs , hope it doesn’t put you off in future

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By *hilfi OP Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Thanks all for the wisdom above and in some PMs I was sent. I’m heartened to hear it was probably bad timing - it won’t put me off for meeting you lovely people in future

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By *idlandsMarriedCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Swift head butt usually works!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See this so many times. I’m of the opinion let a couple start playing and slowly work in if they so no that’s the rule of the game.

What’s worse is when you see a couple go upstairs to play and 10 single guys are running up behind them or chasing them to the room

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went back to the club scene recently after a long break whilst I was travelling and working abroad. Maybe I was unlucky this time but a few (very) disrespectful guys left me worried that the negativity of that crap actually eclipsed the otherwise great experience for me of the lovely people, club and the play…

… and I say that as a single guy, for whom respect is a basic human trait. I was annoyed myself. God knows how it feels to be a lady/couple on the receiving end of some idiots.

Sorry, just needed to vent. I’m (still) so angry at those arseholes

PS. What do other single guys or couples recommend in such a situation? I did my best to tell them to behave, but they’re like wasps. You bat one away and then they or another come back. "

What were they doing OP...please do tell

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