FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Club Discussion

Don’t know what to title this

Jump to newest
 

By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman
over a year ago

no

Can I people watch. Like if I don’t really want to talk to anyone (because I’m shy) can I just watch from the sidelines then join in the Conversation when I feel ready?? Is it rude for me to tell someone I’m not interested in them, especially if they are exactly what that person is looking for.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I just don’t want a repeat of what happened last time I was in a club

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman
over a year ago

no

Guess everyone is out having fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happened?

Most people I meet do exactly that, sit on the side lines listening in and when their comfortable or can contribute, they chip in. Don’t see what’s wrong with this and don’t think it’s rude.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imon and saffyCouple
over a year ago

southampton


"Can I people watch. Like if I don’t really want to talk to anyone (because I’m shy) can I just watch from the sidelines then join in the Conversation when I feel ready?? Is it rude for me to tell someone I’m not interested in them, especially if they are exactly what that person is looking for.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I just don’t want a repeat of what happened last time I was in a club "

You can sit on the sidelines and watch all night long without saying a word to anyone if you want. There's no obligation to speak.

Of course you can tell someone that you're not interested, politely at first but some people won't take no for an answer so you might need to be firmer.

Without more of a background it's difficult to give you anything more specific.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Can I people watch. Like if I don’t really want to talk to anyone (because I’m shy) can I just watch from the sidelines then join in the Conversation when I feel ready?? Is it rude for me to tell someone I’m not interested in them, especially if they are exactly what that person is looking for.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I just don’t want a repeat of what happened last time I was in a club "

Although it is more than acceptable to just be in a club and watch the activities. I would be surprised if you find that because you're a single lady, lots will come and talk to you. Most people in clubs are really respectable though, and if you tell folk you want to be left alone then most will oblige.

Cal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.


"Can I people watch. Like if I don’t really want to talk to anyone (because I’m shy) can I just watch from the sidelines then join in the Conversation when I feel ready?? Is it rude for me to tell someone I’m not interested in them, especially if they are exactly what that person is looking for.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I just don’t want a repeat of what happened last time I was in a club "

Yes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I people watch. Like if I don’t really want to talk to anyone (because I’m shy) can I just watch from the sidelines then join in the Conversation when I feel ready?? Is it rude for me to tell someone I’m not interested in them, especially if they are exactly what that person is looking for.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I just don’t want a repeat of what happened last time I was in a club "

I've been to a club where something happened so if you want to chat, please dm. But no, it's not rude to do as YOU wish. You have full control over who you speak to and when.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman
over a year ago

no


"What happened?

Most people I meet do exactly that, sit on the side lines listening in and when their comfortable or can contribute, they chip in. Don’t see what’s wrong with this and don’t think it’s rude.

"

I need to add full context of everything that happened at my first club experience, so bare with me if it’s a bit long.

Okay so when I got to the club I was greeted by the host, and he told me the basics, like write my username in a little book, then have a drink to just relax. (Which was fine by me) he introduced me to a few people, and I was like cool, and I moved away from the exit and sat down on one of the sofas and just watched what people were doing and saying, then I see a guy I smile back at him because you know to be polite, he then comes over and sits with me. Let’s call him J, so no one is confused. He starts talking to me about something that gets me interested, but not in him but in his hobby. So that’s all I kinda want to talk to him about. But he talks about himself and how so many people will be interested in me. I don’t know how much time has gone by but what I did know is that I just wanted him to leave me alone for a bit. So I decided to get up and get myself another drink. And J ends up following me, he actually said I’m coming too. So while I was ordering my drink, I see a couple I had recently video chatted with. (Just adding this little tid bit, but the couple I saw we kinda got off on the wrong foot) but they said hello to me and chatted to me for a bit, while J was still there. I had to keep escaping to the toilet because of how over bearing he was. More happened during the evening, to the point I had to leave.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.


"What happened?

Most people I meet do exactly that, sit on the side lines listening in and when their comfortable or can contribute, they chip in. Don’t see what’s wrong with this and don’t think it’s rude.

I need to add full context of everything that happened at my first club experience, so bare with me if it’s a bit long.

Okay so when I got to the club I was greeted by the host, and he told me the basics, like write my username in a little book, then have a drink to just relax. (Which was fine by me) he introduced me to a few people, and I was like cool, and I moved away from the exit and sat down on one of the sofas and just watched what people were doing and saying, then I see a guy I smile back at him because you know to be polite, he then comes over and sits with me. Let’s call him J, so no one is confused. He starts talking to me about something that gets me interested, but not in him but in his hobby. So that’s all I kinda want to talk to him about. But he talks about himself and how so many people will be interested in me. I don’t know how much time has gone by but what I did know is that I just wanted him to leave me alone for a bit. So I decided to get up and get myself another drink. And J ends up following me, he actually said I’m coming too. So while I was ordering my drink, I see a couple I had recently video chatted with. (Just adding this little tid bit, but the couple I saw we kinda got off on the wrong foot) but they said hello to me and chatted to me for a bit, while J was still there. I had to keep escaping to the toilet because of how over bearing he was. More happened during the evening, to the point I had to leave.

"

If it happens again just tell them straight to leave you alone or have a word with the club staff and they will tell them for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

At any point did you ask him to let you enjoy your evening without his company?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple
over a year ago

midlands

You can absolutely chill by yourself and just observe.

Maybe communication is something you could focus on.

No one is actually a very good mind reader.

Simply saying 'thanks for the lovely conversation, I'm going to mingle/have some time to myself' is polite and clear.

As long as you're clear and polite, then there shouldn't be an issue.

If someone persists then be ready to be a bit firmer.

If you say nothing, another person is left guessing and misunderstanding is a much higher possibility. You can say no, nicely and without heat, but actually saying no is important communication.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ustfortheforums OP   Woman
over a year ago

no


"You can absolutely chill by yourself and just observe.

Maybe communication is something you could focus on.

No one is actually a very good mind reader.

Simply saying 'thanks for the lovely conversation, I'm going to mingle/have some time to myself' is polite and clear.

As long as you're clear and polite, then there shouldn't be an issue.

If someone persists then be ready to be a bit firmer.

If you say nothing, another person is left guessing and misunderstanding is a much higher possibility. You can say no, nicely and without heat, but actually saying no is important communication."

I understand, my communication skills were not brilliant that night, but I just didn’t want to come off as rude. Because obviously I was “new”, and I didn’t know if J had been to that club and was regular. I now know for next time, just say no thanks.

Thank you for helping me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top