Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swinging Club Discussion |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! " I can`t fully agree with that, as you are in a swinger club if you approach a couple even just for a chat, they will take it as a sign of interest to play, and 99.99% of times, they are right, as this is the case. But it doesn`t mean that you should not do that, and if you do it in a confident but respectful manner the response will be friendly, even if it`s a friendly no thanks. You will get rejected sometimes, it`s normal, don`t stress about that. It`s still 100 times easier to get in a conversation which can lead to some fun in a club like here on this site... I found swinger clubs the best place to approach girls, and even to "practice pick up skills", if I can put it in this not too polite way. 
In a swinger club it`s clear that everyone is there coz they are looking to meet new people and flirt, which is not really the case in any regular bar or nightclub and the atmosphere is also much more liberated. Not to mention, that you can approach ladies for a bit of flirt even if they are with their partner (of course always in a respectful way to their partner too), which let`s be honest would not be the best idea in the WestEnd. 
In the past years, while I`ve been visiting swinger clubs as a single man and chatting to girls and couples, I feel I could improve myself on how to approach total stranger girls for a bit of respectful flirt, and since that, I feel more comfortable to do it even in coffee shops. :D
If I can give you one piece of advice; the #1 rule is, if you see someone you like, do not hesitate, do not think, unless they are in a chat with another couple (which usually means you are already late...), go and approach them politely. You may receive a polite no, but what can you lose? Nothing. If that happens, wish them lots of fun for the night, maybe congratulate the guy for being the luckiest man in the club, and you can leave the table with a smile, without any loss of dignity.
And other guests around will also see you as a friendly social guy who is a pleasant company - that can help you a lot in a couple minutes later...
The worst that you can do is staring at them like a weirdo for ages and approach them after... That looks really bad. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! " Sadly this is where (in my experience), a fair amount of guys getting wrong. They interpret a brief chat as a sign of interest and guaranteed sex. I will chat to pretty much anyone and the social aspect of the scene is what I love, but it is so off-putting when after like 2 minutes of chatting to a guy he is then angling to find a playroom and starts all the sex talk. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! Sadly this is where (in my experience), a fair amount of guys getting wrong. They interpret a brief chat as a sign of interest and guaranteed sex. I will chat to pretty much anyone and the social aspect of the scene is what I love, but it is so off-putting when after like 2 minutes of chatting to a guy he is then angling to find a playroom and starts all the sex talk. " Totally agree | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! I can`t fully agree with that, as you are in a swinger club if you approach a couple even just for a chat, they will take it as a sign of interest to play, and 99.99% of times, they are right, as this is the case. But it doesn`t mean that you should not do that, and if you do it in a confident but respectful manner the response will be friendly, even if it`s a friendly no thanks. You will get rejected sometimes, it`s normal, don`t stress about that. It`s still 100 times easier to get in a conversation which can lead to some fun in a club like here on this site... I found swinger clubs the best place to approach girls, and even to "practice pick up skills", if I can put it in this not too polite way.
In a swinger club it`s clear that everyone is there coz they are looking to meet new people and flirt, which is not really the case in any regular bar or nightclub and the atmosphere is also much more liberated. Not to mention, that you can approach ladies for a bit of flirt even if they are with their partner (of course always in a respectful way to their partner too), which let`s be honest would not be the best idea in the WestEnd.
In the past years, while I`ve been visiting swinger clubs as a single man and chatting to girls and couples, I feel I could improve myself on how to approach total stranger girls for a bit of respectful flirt, and since that, I feel more comfortable to do it even in coffee shops. :D
If I can give you one piece of advice; the #1 rule is, if you see someone you like, do not hesitate, do not think, unless they are in a chat with another couple (which usually means you are already late...), go and approach them politely. You may receive a polite no, but what can you lose? Nothing. If that happens, wish them lots of fun for the night, maybe congratulate the guy for being the luckiest man in the club, and you can leave the table with a smile, without any loss of dignity.
And other guests around will also see you as a friendly social guy who is a pleasant company - that can help you a lot in a couple minutes later...
The worst that you can do is staring at them like a weirdo for ages and approach them after... That looks really bad."This is pretty good advice really. For us, here’s a few bullet points; Be friendly but not over friendly, reaching out and touching when we hardly know you is not going to get you places. Engage the Mr, if he’s pissed off that you’re ignoring him, you’re not going to get far. Be able to talk about something other than sex. Yes, we know all the blood is rapidly disappearing from your brain as you spotted B has pierced nipples and isn’t wearing knickers but try to be engaging.
Know when to leave, it may not be the end and you may get an invite back but don’t try to monopolise our time.
Wanking Dead Zombies… never a good look.
No when to take a hint. If it’s not going well, excuse yourself politely and head somewhere else.
It’s fun picking up guys. You just have to relax and it’ll happen.
B&J x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! I can`t fully agree with that, as you are in a swinger club if you approach a couple even just for a chat, they will take it as a sign of interest to play, and 99.99% of times, they are right, as this is the case. But it doesn`t mean that you should not do that, and if you do it in a confident but respectful manner the response will be friendly, even if it`s a friendly no thanks. You will get rejected sometimes, it`s normal, don`t stress about that. It`s still 100 times easier to get in a conversation which can lead to some fun in a club like here on this site... I found swinger clubs the best place to approach girls, and even to "practice pick up skills", if I can put it in this not too polite way.
In a swinger club it`s clear that everyone is there coz they are looking to meet new people and flirt, which is not really the case in any regular bar or nightclub and the atmosphere is also much more liberated. Not to mention, that you can approach ladies for a bit of flirt even if they are with their partner (of course always in a respectful way to their partner too), which let`s be honest would not be the best idea in the WestEnd.
In the past years, while I`ve been visiting swinger clubs as a single man and chatting to girls and couples, I feel I could improve myself on how to approach total stranger girls for a bit of respectful flirt, and since that, I feel more comfortable to do it even in coffee shops. :D
If I can give you one piece of advice; the #1 rule is, if you see someone you like, do not hesitate, do not think, unless they are in a chat with another couple (which usually means you are already late...), go and approach them politely. You may receive a polite no, but what can you lose? Nothing. If that happens, wish them lots of fun for the night, maybe congratulate the guy for being the luckiest man in the club, and you can leave the table with a smile, without any loss of dignity.
And other guests around will also see you as a friendly social guy who is a pleasant company - that can help you a lot in a couple minutes later...
The worst that you can do is staring at them like a weirdo for ages and approach them after... That looks really bad."I just found the clubs to be mostly couples-oriented, with rarely any single women to meet. Opening conversations with couples is never easy, and being greeted with “We’re not interested in single guys thanks”, it does get a bit wearing. I would only look for events where single guys are actively sought in future  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Firstly the advice of go on single guy events is one to note. That way you know those who are there are either open for single guys to approach or they are a single guy. Secondly, yes engage with couples. We’re always open to chat to new people and the single guys who have approached us with a smile and something to say, are always received with a smile and friendly conversation back. If we aren’t interested, we politely make that clear but it doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy the conversation. We tend to find though that conversations in the bar area may not lead directly to play straight away but once we’re involved, it’s more comfortable to invite someone to join us. Finally as some have said before. Walking around staring and thinking that just reaching out to touch without asking or even making any connection is going to work. It certainly doesn’t for us. Being polite is always the best policy. My best example, one of our first nights in a club and while engaged with a guy behind me as I sucked hubby. A guy approached but kept his distance, he caught hubby’s eye and smiled while giving a friendly nod. Hubby smiled back, he came over and said ‘wow she’s beautiful (of course flattery gets you everywhere with me lol). Would you mind if I touched her tits’. Yes it was quite direct, however he waited until there was some recognition of his presence. Then approached with a smile and easy going manner. Compliment and direct question. We both felt if we’d said no, he would have happily said ‘no problem, thanks and enjoy’ as he moved away. As it was I wanked his cock before he took me doggy as well. Lol. X" It did happen to me few times, being polite, smiling and complimentary tends to pay off!! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Firstly the advice of go on single guy events is one to note. That way you know those who are there are either open for single guys to approach or they are a single guy. Secondly, yes engage with couples. We’re always open to chat to new people and the single guys who have approached us with a smile and something to say, are always received with a smile and friendly conversation back. If we aren’t interested, we politely make that clear but it doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy the conversation. We tend to find though that conversations in the bar area may not lead directly to play straight away but once we’re involved, it’s more comfortable to invite someone to join us. Finally as some have said before. Walking around staring and thinking that just reaching out to touch without asking or even making any connection is going to work. It certainly doesn’t for us. Being polite is always the best policy. My best example, one of our first nights in a club and while engaged with a guy behind me as I sucked hubby. A guy approached but kept his distance, he caught hubby’s eye and smiled while giving a friendly nod. Hubby smiled back, he came over and said ‘wow she’s beautiful (of course flattery gets you everywhere with me lol). Would you mind if I touched her tits’. Yes it was quite direct, however he waited until there was some recognition of his presence. Then approached with a smile and easy going manner. Compliment and direct question. We both felt if we’d said no, he would have happily said ‘no problem, thanks and enjoy’ as he moved away. As it was I wanked his cock before he took me doggy as well. Lol. X" Yes, that`s a very good example, similar happened to me too. When you see a couple playing in a common area that usually means they are open to be approached even while they play - but obviously do it in the right manner! Keep a respectful distance, try to catch an eye contact, a smile, and then you will feel if there is any interest. If yes, in this case you can jump the "hi, I`m XY, how is your evening?"
The story you told was a great example and sounds very sexy too! That was a lucky man there!
One thing I can`t fully agree with as advice is the "single guys event". Obviously, as a single man, we can`t visit couples-only events anyway, but there is a huge difference between unlimited single guys and limited single guys events. Unless a lady/couple is looking for some gangbang scenario, they can be overwhelmed with men approaching them every 5 minutes (even if in a polite way) if it's a sausage fest event. So I rather recommend attending events with limited guys, especially for beginners. Personally, I found them way better.
But I say it for the sake of joining couples for a threesome or play with single ladies on the occasional lucky nights.  Of course, if you are interested to join big groups with lots of guys pleasing one lady in some Bukakke or gangbang situation, then greedy girls' nights are just perfect for that :D | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! Sadly this is where (in my experience), a fair amount of guys getting wrong. They interpret a brief chat as a sign of interest and guaranteed sex. I will chat to pretty much anyone and the social aspect of the scene is what I love, but it is so off-putting when after like 2 minutes of chatting to a guy he is then angling to find a playroom and starts all the sex talk. " Yes we would agree with this. Often we will be stood at the bar and a single guy will strike up a convo with us. For example happened last Friday. And we chatted politely, he was maybe 20-25 years older than us and totally wouldn’t be of interest to play with but we are happy to talk to anyone. But we do feel that single guys then think because we have chatted to them that we want to fuck them. Messages on fab, verifications etc where they state things like ‘we didn’t get a chance to play but hope to bump into you again’. There’s defo a mindset from many single guys in clubs that they think as you are in there then u must be down to fuck. As though standards don’t count because we are in a swingers club. I think also when a guy (not all but many) has paid a large amount of money to enter that he feels he’s somewhat entitled for some fun. Also echo previous comment, pet hate when a single guy waits for Mr to go to bathroom and pounces. Had that often also, very amateur silly move IMO just alienates immediately | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
