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People who go as friends and aren’t couples

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By *orkshire_roses999 OP   Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before?

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By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

Sorry to hear you had this experience, it's something I hate seeing and will always call it out if I know it's happening.

Used to be behind the bar at a club and it was blatantly obvious when 2 people claimed to be a couple to get in cheaper but weren't. They didn't know what each other drank, uncomfortable in each others personal space, no natural flow between them if you understand me? I wouldn't say awkwardness as real couples can feel that too in a club setting, but even then the real couple still interact with each other. "Club couples" don't.

Also a good tell tale sign would be the same woman with a different guy every week

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By *xboatmanMan
over a year ago

Tidworth

[Removed by poster at 30/05/21 11:46:28]

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

To be fair this could happen with any single guy in a club. Unless you went on a couples a night, which would be a bit naughty on the guys part.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before? "

Can't say I have but I don't think it says anywhere that you have to be a real couple to go as a couple. Before lockdown I had been going regularly with my good friend to chams as a couple.

However I'm guessing anyone groping at a club would be thrown out currently as there are strict social distancing and no play rules in any club thats open.

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before? "

Surely it say quite a bit about the person who went with the man concerned. Did she also get removed?

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By *xboatmanMan
over a year ago

Tidworth

I've been visiting a certain club with a lady friend for some years now but we are not a couple & never play together. We meet up occasionally when there but otherwise do our own thing. It works for us & I've had much fun with other ladies & gents in the past. However I go with no expectations & if something happens its a bonus !

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By *orkshire_roses999 OP   Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire


"I've been visiting a certain club with a lady friend for some years now but we are not a couple & never play together. We meet up occasionally when there but otherwise do our own thing. It works for us & I've had much fun with other ladies & gents in the past. However I go with no expectations & if something happens its a bonus !"

So technically you cannot go to a couples only night then, as you aren’t a couple….

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By *orkshire_roses999 OP   Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before?

Surely it say quite a bit about the person who went with the man concerned. Did she also get removed?"

They were both removed,which was nice to see…it was clear they weren’t together as he wasn’t seen with her after they arrived

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before? "

I've often see none couples go in as couples. If you scan the forms here or meets you'll people asking for someone to go with. I'm not saying all of them then go round grouping women,just saying I've seen singles go in as couples.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I will never understand the mentality that makes people think they can touch someone or something without asking for permission first, and I certainly don’t get why people feel its ok to grope someone if they are not engaging in any play

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

[Removed by poster at 30/05/21 12:12:46]

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before?

Surely it say quite a bit about the person who went with the man concerned. Did she also get removed?

They were both removed,which was nice to see…it was clear they weren’t together as he wasn’t seen with her after they arrived"

Good, it would have been completely wrong if the lady had been allowed to stay and the guy slung out.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"I've been visiting a certain club with a lady friend for some years now but we are not a couple & never play together. We meet up occasionally when there but otherwise do our own thing. It works for us & I've had much fun with other ladies & gents in the past. However I go with no expectations & if something happens its a bonus !

So technically you cannot go to a couples only night then, as you aren’t a couple…."
I had written that they can... but reading that they dont spend the evening together I'm not so sure.. as it's not about if you are a couple but how you react and interact...

I've gone as a couple with a couple of people but only people I get on well with . To be fair the fact that people thought when I got into a relationship it was with my club buddy our chemistry must come across as good... but we dont always play together, although we have done so. However it is worth saying we don't go on a couples night.

I dont like couples only nights though.

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By *ommon-usernameMan
over a year ago

local

This happened with me. In the context of I was a guy who went with a female friend who I played with too at club.

I don't agree that they should separate and pester people but if they stayed together and played together it would have been better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Touching people without their permission is so odd, the logic behind it is lost to me. This situation though is why i never agree to take guys to clubs when asked. Its not worth the trouble. Different if i knew the person well as others have said but not some rando just to get a reduced entrance fee.

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford

The way I see it is if it's a couples only night (which I know it was) then it's fine for 2 singles to attend as a couple however I think they should behave accordingly and actually act like a couple unlike the "couple" in question who entered together and then went off their separate ways once inside the club thus leading to said incident. Having spent quite a lot of time with the op at this event we are saddened that this happened at all nevermind to such a lovely friendly couple.

Also I think that there's a lot "kid in a sweet shop" behaviour around at the moment given that we've all just been released back into the wild, however no means no and some people may need to be reminded of this fact.

Mr H.

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By *icksfocusMan
over a year ago

Pontefract


"The way I see it is if it's a couples only night (which I know it was) then it's fine for 2 singles to attend as a couple however I think they should behave accordingly and actually act like a couple unlike the "couple" in question who entered together and then went off their separate ways once inside the club thus leading to said incident. Having spent quite a lot of time with the op at this event we are saddened that this happened at all nevermind to such a lovely friendly couple.

Also I think that there's a lot "kid in a sweet shop" behaviour around at the moment given that we've all just been released back into the wild, however no means no and some people may need to be reminded of this fact.

Mr H."

Not all of us have been released

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By *exySarah82Woman
over a year ago

Blackburn ish


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before? "

I think the issue here is that he groped your Mrs, which is never OK... Consent is everything. And no means no. Good to hear he was kicked out. Hopefully Mrs is OK.

However people pretending to be a couple is not an issue for me... I have been to clubs with guys/fwb and paid couple entry. I have stayed with them all night for any fun. I've never been questioned on if we are in a relationship which I feel isn't necessary as long as everyone respects the rules of the club, swinging etiquette and most importantly, consent.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I’ve been to Chams, No.3, and Club f as a ‘couple’, with female friends. It was never about “getting me in” for cheap, or any kind of skullduggery, it was just two friends going out for a fun night together. Compared to visiting clubs as a solo guy, and how people react to you, I would always go as a ‘couple’

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By *aggy dollsCouple
over a year ago

bradford


"I’ve been to Chams, No.3, and Club f as a ‘couple’, with female friends. It was never about “getting me in” for cheap, or any kind of skullduggery, it was just two friends going out for a fun night together. Compared to visiting clubs as a solo guy, and how people react to you, I would always go as a ‘couple’ "

I dont think anyone has a problem with people doing what you've just said, the issue arises when someone goes as a couple to circumnavigate entry restrictions.

Mr H

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By *orkshire_roses999 OP   Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire


"I’ve been to Chams, No.3, and Club f as a ‘couple’, with female friends. It was never about “getting me in” for cheap, or any kind of skullduggery, it was just two friends going out for a fun night together. Compared to visiting clubs as a solo guy, and how people react to you, I would always go as a ‘couple’

I dont think anyone has a problem with people doing what you've just said, the issue arises when someone goes as a couple to circumnavigate entry restrictions.

Mr H "

Exactly my point mr H….if you go as a couple and play as a couple NO ISSUE!….but it was clear that they knew very little about each other,and weren’t even seen by any of the bar staff socialising etc together…..that is a little wierd!

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I go to clubs with friends and we go as a couple. I would say this has nothing to do with that arrangement and more to do with a guy that didn’t know how to behave.

V x

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"The way I see it is if it's a couples only night (which I know it was) then it's fine for 2 singles to attend as a couple however I think they should behave accordingly and actually act like a couple unlike the "couple" in question who entered together and then went off their separate ways once inside the club thus leading to said incident. Having spent quite a lot of time with the op at this event we are saddened that this happened at all nevermind to such a lovely friendly couple.

Also I think that there's a lot "kid in a sweet shop" behaviour around at the moment given that we've all just been released back into the wild, however no means no and some people may need to be reminded of this fact.

Mr H."

Hold on a sec... when I was a couple we would go

Our separate ways often. I don’t chose to “behave as a couple” whatever that may mean. As per my previous post. This is nothing to do with relationship status or how you party as a couple. This was a man who behaved badly and shouldn’t have been in a club.

V x

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

The phenomenon of two singles masquerading as a couple; in the American lifestyle scene this is called 'taking sand to the beach'.

Is this correct?

I wouldn't object to this; Louis Theroux used this ploy in his documentary on swinging about 20 years ago.

However, etiquette must be adhered to; the first rule is no means no.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington

Our club exposure is limited and to be honest, on the nights we have gone it was couples and mixed singles anyway.

In that scenario it should not be an issue as long as both parties respect the rule.

If it's an absolute "couples only" evening then that's a different kettle of fish. The assumption there is it's couples going to meet couples. Can't say we would be too happy going to a couples only night

just to have random singles trying it on. Just saying.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I don’t think the two issues are related.

Loads of singles/friends go to parties as a couple. That’s widespread common practice. Some play together when they get there, some don’t. Similarly lots of actual couples go to parties and go their separate ways too.

You can’t police how couples should play when they get to a party. Each couple has their own dynamic.

This issue here, as I see it, is that the man behaved badly. That doesn’t have anything to do with how and with whom he entered the club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t think the two issues are related.

Loads of singles/friends go to parties as a couple. That’s widespread common practice. Some play together when they get there, some don’t. Similarly lots of actual couples go to parties and go their separate ways too.

You can’t police how couples should play when they get to a party. Each couple has their own dynamic.

This issue here, as I see it, is that the man behaved badly. That doesn’t have anything to do with how and with whom he entered the club.

"
exactly this, I go to clubs with my club buddy, she and I don't play together but she feels safer knowing that I'm in the club looking out for her.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I don’t think the two issues are related.

Loads of singles/friends go to parties as a couple. That’s widespread common practice. Some play together when they get there, some don’t. Similarly lots of actual couples go to parties and go their separate ways too.

You can’t police how couples should play when they get to a party. Each couple has their own dynamic.

This issue here, as I see it, is that the man behaved badly. That doesn’t have anything to do with how and with whom he entered the club.

exactly this, I go to clubs with my club buddy, she and I don't play together but she feels safer knowing that I'm in the club looking out for her. "

There are lots of different dynamics to couples at clubs. I think your arrangement is really common.

I think it’s a bit entitled to try dictate how other people run their own swinging partnership. We’d all love to go to a club and it be full of only people that suit us, but it never works like that does it?

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

We have bumped into loads of couples that just get together for the swinging fun but luckily they have behaved themselves at the club ,personally I think the female who was with him should of been shown the door too , we are actually a couple and have to sign in for fire regulations etc

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By *heNYCSausageMan
over a year ago

Everton

I’m a single guy, and there’s a female I go to clubs with as a couple. We don’t play together. But I know she feels safer with me near her then if I wasn’t around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it would have mattered, it's the man's behaviour that was an issue not who he was with or his relationship status. They could have been together years but he'd still have behaved this way. Also don't understand why she was removed, unless she also was behaving badly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We use to play with FWB, but its always felt different, and the man doesn't act the same way a husband would, its difficult to put into words, I've never quite felt comfortable & they seem to push boundaries, so we have stopped and only play with well established married couple's now.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I J when single have been to several clubs with several different lady friends, as all of us where single at the time and neither of the ladies could drive was no hassles. We were both regulars at clubs and knew the etiquette of clubs. Club owners knew we weren't a proper couple but had no objections to us entering as a couple.

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By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"We use to play with FWB, but its always felt different, and the man doesn't act the same way a husband would, its difficult to put into words, I've never quite felt comfortable & they seem to push boundaries, so we have stopped and only play with well established married couple's now.

Mrs"

We get what you mean and it's why why have no interest in meeting fwb couples.If we had to describe it, it would be that a couple playing together are quite litterally playing together. They're watching out for each other and making sure the other is having a good time.

Fwb couples are not doing that. They're 2 individuals who are there for themselves. Yeah there might be a bit more to it than that but it's what it boils down to.

That probably sounds harsher than we mean it to but the truth is, we could just pick up any two single people and end up with a similar dynamic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We use to play with FWB, but its always felt different, and the man doesn't act the same way a husband would, its difficult to put into words, I've never quite felt comfortable & they seem to push boundaries, so we have stopped and only play with well established married couple's now.

Mrs

We get what you mean and it's why we have no interest in meeting fwb couples.If we had to describe it, it would be that a couple playing together are quite litterally playing together. They're watching out for each other and making sure the other is having a good time.

Fwb couples are not doing that. They're 2 individuals who are there for themselves. Yeah there might be a bit more to it than that but it's what it boils down to.

That probably sounds harsher than we mean it to but the truth is, we could just pick up any two single people and end up with a similar dynamic. "

Totally agree. The last time it happened to us, the guy in question wasn't interested in a fouresome or playing with the girl he came with.

Everytime I tried to get my Mrs involved with myself and the other girl, he would try and find away to get my Mrs to himself.

We eventually got shot of him, but the girl stayed and we had great 3some for the rest of the night.

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By *ustustwo.1965Couple
over a year ago

.


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before? "

We think couples should be couples.

Sadly the clubs have to rely on the honesty of people, and there are some dishonest and desperate people about.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before?

We think couples should be couples.

Sadly the clubs have to rely on the honesty of people, and there are some dishonest and desperate people about."

Dishonest and desperate??? Couples should be couples???? There are a gazillion different relationship computations and some of them involve more than 2 people even.... shock horror.

V x

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before?

We think couples should be couples.

Sadly the clubs have to rely on the honesty of people, and there are some dishonest and desperate people about."

I think it’s fine to have a preference for playing with established couples, but labelling people who couple up to go to parties as dishonest and desperate is a bit harsh, no?

There are some strangers that couple up just to get in somewhere, I agree that shouldn’t happen. But there are people with longstanding friendships or swinging arrangements who go to parties as a couple and I wouldn’t say they’re desperate or dishonest, just not what you’re looking for.

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By *S2004Man
over a year ago

Bromsgrove


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before?

We think couples should be couples.

Sadly the clubs have to rely on the honesty of people, and there are some dishonest and desperate people about.

I think it’s fine to have a preference for playing with established couples, but labelling people who couple up to go to parties as dishonest and desperate is a bit harsh, no?

There are some strangers that couple up just to get in somewhere, I agree that shouldn’t happen. But there are people with longstanding friendships or swinging arrangements who go to parties as a couple and I wouldn’t say they’re desperate or dishonest, just not what you’re looking for. "

This sums up my thinking precisely. In addition we have met married couples before where there has been the same inappropriate behaviour described by earlier posters, so I think it really does ball down to the personality of the people involved.x

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before?

We think couples should be couples.

Sadly the clubs have to rely on the honesty of people, and there are some dishonest and desperate people about.

I think it’s fine to have a preference for playing with established couples, but labelling people who couple up to go to parties as dishonest and desperate is a bit harsh, no?

There are some strangers that couple up just to get in somewhere, I agree that shouldn’t happen. But there are people with longstanding friendships or swinging arrangements who go to parties as a couple and I wouldn’t say they’re desperate or dishonest, just not what you’re looking for.

This sums up my thinking precisely. In addition we have met married couples before where there has been the same inappropriate behaviour described by earlier posters, so I think it really does ball down to the personality of the people involved.x"

I agree. It’s definitely not the case that the only people who know how to behave are married swingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We recently had an incident where two people pretended to be a couple to get the guy in….he was really creepy and didn’t understand the word no, groped MrsYorkshire and eventually got himself kicked out….anyone else had this before? "

To be honest there’s plenty of idiots as part of couples anyway.

I think perhaps the issue is the charging scales, a much higher price for single men encourages the blag, in turn I think guys paying a hefty price tag them ‘expect more’, perhaps a level pricing structure is a better way forward.

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By *nvincible ButterflyWoman
over a year ago

LEEDS

I'm seeing this a lot a lately.guys managing to get in my local club even though it's only open to couple's at the moment... So they must be going in with another single female.

Really annoys me as clubs should be cracking down on it. I'm definitely put off going now once they open up to singles as I wouldn't feel safe if rules like that are being broken or twisted.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

To me it its a simple case that if you enter as a couple you should to a fair extent hang out together as a couple regardless of your relationship statuses outside the club. So naturally something that's probably for people who to some extent have bonded and enjoy each others company prior to the club/event. Also I think many couples in long term relationships/arrangements go to couples nights wanting to engage with other couples in secure relationships/arrangements. I think most people deep down know the difference between going with honest intent v being disingenuous and not within the spirt of things.

The other thing is manners, etiquette and consent are completely universal to all in a club.

I mean unless I'm missing something its as simple as that isn't it?

(Mr Misfit)

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"To me it its a simple case that if you enter as a couple you should to a fair extent hang out together as a couple regardless of your relationship statuses outside the club. So naturally something that's probably for people who to some extent have bonded and enjoy each others company prior to the club/event. Also I think many couples in long term relationships/arrangements go to couples nights wanting to engage with other couples in secure relationships/arrangements. I think most people deep down know the difference between going with honest intent v being disingenuous and not within the spirt of things.

The other thing is manners, etiquette and consent are completely universal to all in a club.

I mean unless I'm missing something its as simple as that isn't it?

(Mr Misfit)"

If that’s what you do that’s great. As a couple I tend not to preferring to mingle both together and separately.

Why are we not seeing that bad behaviour and relationship status are completely different things????? And (other than the rules of the event) you don’t get to tell others how to run their club nights out.

V x

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Two issues here…

As a true couple (ina reationship) you could go to a couples night and the female or male could play with another couple. Now whilst I would question that dynamic at a couples only night it could be seen as acceptable Now as soon as you throw two singles in a similar play dynamic it is not acceptable.

I have been to clubs as both a fabricated couple and a thought of as real couple (that’s another issue) on a couples night. The dynamics that we had worked for us.

Now going on to single guy touching - he shouldn’t off done that anyway end off

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By *imon and saffyCouple
over a year ago

southampton

As usual it's the minority of predatory single men who create the problems for everyone.

Another person in the club who is respectful is not an issue regardless of sex and status.

Someone using a lie to gain access and then being a pest is not acceptable in any form.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"Two issues here…

As a true couple (ina reationship) you could go to a couples night and the female or male could play with another couple. Now whilst I would question that dynamic at a couples only night it could be seen as acceptable Now as soon as you throw two singles in a similar play dynamic it is not acceptable.

I have been to clubs as both a fabricated couple and a thought of as real couple (that’s another issue) on a couples night. The dynamics that we had worked for us.

Now going on to single guy touching - he shouldn’t off done that anyway end off "

“True couple” There are many relationships that aren’t that. Are they not valid? Or did I wake up 30 years ago

V x

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By *xboatmanMan
over a year ago

Tidworth

In a previous post I mentioned that a very good friend & I have frequently visited a club as a couple & that we don't play together. This was never an issue for the club, where we were both quite well known, or indeed for any of the people that we met when there. In fact a few other regular visitors knew us & accepted us for what we were.

As I am now at the upper end of the age range usually found at clubs I can honestly say that no one ever questioned my motives. I spent many happy times in the communal area of the club chatting to people, enjoying a drink & generally relaxing. If anything came of this interaction then it was a bonus but I never went with the expectation of 'getting my leg over'.

I had a different name on Fab then but it's possible that someone may recognise me from my description.

It's a shame that single guys get tarred with the same brush because I, for one, never went round being pushy & always respected peoples privacy.

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