FabSwingers.com forum: single guys in quiet clubs

By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

I think some of these need to learn how to have a conversation with people and maybe a reminder of club etiquette. We have been to a few clubs lately and have had a few single guys just reach over nad grab one of us without so much as a hello just trying to dive straight in. This is the easiest way to get blown out by us as even tho i am submissive i still demand respect from people. So can i ask all the single guys in clubs to maybe speak to people instead of just grabbing. The clubs have been quiet and i understand you see a fem or a couple in there and get all eager to play but rememeber manners would you do that in a normal bar or club ? Then why should a swingers club be any different. Moan over

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By *unsurreycouple1Couple
over a year ago

Surrey

seems to be growing problem....

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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

Yes the other day we called into chams on way home from holiday in the jacuzzi relaxing when I felt a hand on my thigh pulling my legs open I pushed the guy away and he got out calling me a bitch and a prick tease those were the only words he said to me the entire time. His loss as I could have been interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes the other day we called into chams on way home from holiday in the jacuzzi relaxing when I felt a hand on my thigh pulling my legs open I pushed the guy away and he got out calling me a bitch and a prick tease those were the only words he said to me the entire time. His loss as I could have been interested "

Hope you told him that you would've been interested if he'd been polite and respectful.

Might make him think next time. Also I think that comment would work the same as a kick in the bollocks!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if they break the rules, advise the staff.

that applies to all, not just guys.

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By *unsurreycouple1Couple
over a year ago

Surrey

I think coloured wrist bands would be a good idea.

Straight,Bi and no single males for instance then all would know where they stand....

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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

"I think coloured wrist bands would be a good idea.

Straight,Bi and no single males for instance then all would know where they stand...."

But so would having a conversation if you are polite and talk to people then you know where you stand too

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By *kmale421Man
over a year ago

wirral

"I think coloured wrist bands would be a good idea.

Straight,Bi and no single males for instance then all would know where they stand...."

I think that this idea is a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Most clubs that I have been to have a couples room and/or private rooms where a couple can play alone or with whatever mix of perople that couple chooses to.

The issue the OP points out is simply pure bad manners on behalf of that particular single guy, there is no excuse for it whether the club was packed or quiet.

I posted a few weeks ago a topic called Politeness Pays Off or something like that anyway. In essence it was by talking to a couple that I ended up having lots of fun with them and them with me. In the same club I have seen and know a few couples whom start off playing only with couples but as the night progresses migrate to the single guys, so things are fluid in the club scene.

At the end of the day, manners always pay off and while an indepth converstation might not take place, an acknowledgement that it's ok to play with someone is always required

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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

Scarlett I would have but he was too busy insulting me we were going to say something if we saw him again but he was leaving as we made it to the bar

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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

"I think coloured wrist bands would be a good idea.

Straight,Bi and no single males for instance then all would know where they stand....

The issue the OP points out is simply pure bad manners on behalf of that particular single guy, there is no excuse for it whether the club was packed or quiet.

At the end of the day, manners always pay off and while an indepth converstation might not take place, an acknowledgement that it's ok to play with someone is always required"
. Exactly we had a very polite guy in infusions in blackpool who has seen us in chams who just sat back and observed us in the dungeon then when we had finished came to talk to us we are now looking forward to meeting him to play at a later date. Communication and manners are the best way to get to play

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By *orksvalleyguyMan
over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 21/07/12 10:26:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never ever had this happen. Mind only been to 3 clubs and they all up north.

Maybe men up here are better mannered or they scared of me

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By *orksvalleyguyMan
over a year ago

leeds

Different coloured wristbands for arseholes and nice guys would be a good idea though!

If things are a bit quiet they you can have an absolute ball as a couple might be less inhibited. One of the best times I ever had was with a me, another guy and a couple. Only 4 of us in the place and her first time. But she totally relaxed and had an awesome time!

SubBBW has it right - best way to see if people are interested is to ask them politely. I've never had a rude response from a couple I've approached even when they were clearly not interested. At the very worst I have an interesting few minutes of conversation

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By *orksvalleyguyMan
over a year ago

leeds

"I have never ever had this happen. Mind only been to 3 clubs and they all up north.

Maybe men up here are better mannered or they scared of me

Everything is better in the North

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is why i stopped going to clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think coloured wrist bands would be a good idea.

Straight,Bi and no single males for instance then all would know where they stand....

But so would having a conversation if you are polite and talk to people then you know where you stand too"
Totally agree, wristbands are even less of a reason to chat

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I have never ever had this happen. Mind only been to 3 clubs and they all up north.

Maybe men up here are better mannered or they scared of me

I was going to say that if that had happened at the club I normally go to, I think they would have been turfed out......

I think it is just a point of people being socialable full stop rather than doing the "zombie patrolling" thing..... the lack of conversation where they will just stand at the bar... or wander round not saying boo to a goose.

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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

We would have reported it but he was leaving as we entered bar area we are regulars at chams and it is often very single male heavy but most are polite and accept a no without kicking off but lately it has been getting worse on the manners front.

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

What makes you think that "couple'd" men are any better? My experience of when I was playing "mixed doubles" was that men with a woman "on their arm" think that they can get away with anything purely because they think that "couples can do no wrong".

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"We would have reported it but he was leaving as we entered bar area we are regulars at chams and it is often very single male heavy but most are polite and accept a no without kicking off but lately it has been getting worse on the manners front. "

Having worked in a swingers club for 2 years, the worst behaved were d*unk woman followed closely by guys cruising around and wanting to shag anyone that blinked more than twice...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

ps....we were a couples and single female only club

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I think its fair to say a minority of ALL people in clubs (couples, fuck buddys, women, etc) need to learn a bit of respect in club situations.

I understand alcohol + sexual anticipation are a deadly combo but it doesnt excuse people the basics of human courtesy and decency.

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By *unpearCouple
over a year ago

bristol

We love single guy's in club's. They make the place a little more exciting. Sometimes you get the creepy guy hovering around but most single guy's we've met in club's have been polite and respectful. If one has touched my thigh or breast with out asking, I will say with a smile "no" if I'm not interested and they don't try it again. Hey if your laying there naked it must be hard for them to keep their hands to them selves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its funny how people have no respect a little kindness and politness goes a long way in a club i go too i always speak first its rude not too i have made some wonderful friends this way..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the best way for anyone to behave is as if they are at a regular vanilla bar or club. Forget about the going there for sex attitude, in my limited experience sex usually happens anyway, plus I'm one of those people that loves a good natter all the same!

In fact on the one occasion I didn't play I merely chatted the whole time to folks for a few hours and had a whale of a time! I got offers of play later on but sadly I had to leave as I started work in 6 hours so was excused. Still had a good night though!

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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

I'm not saying its all single guys I love single guys in clubs that are respectful and don't just assume they can maul you then abuse you when you say no. We have had some great nights in various clubs with them but being rude gets you no where

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By *absFrenchGentMan
over a year ago

stafford

Yes but cracking a nut with a sledge hammer can be fun lol and at least with a wrist band people could actually gain time and if a couple wants to chat to some single men they can then make the first move and there is no doubt that it's only to socialize and if the single guys suddently see a woman or couple that is into single gents then they can always go and have fun after all it is all about nsa fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think its about "gaining time" to me, the whole night should just flow, and it usually does!

Though the wristband thing isn't too bad an idea actually as it would stop those who don't play with single guys/women who don't play with other women/guys who aren't bi from being pestered by those they would have no intentions of playing with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We run a new venue late-xs and we are currently only allowing single guys in on a Friday night if they have been invited by a couple or come with a single fem....Simply because when we opened on our 1st night we only had single guys attend and we get numerous calls from guys asking how many fems/couples there are going to be attending. We thought that by limiting how many single guys attend, and the fact that they will be there at the invite of couples/single fems they are less likely to become a nusiance to others.

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By *orth West CoupleCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

"I think some of these need to learn how to have a conversation with people and maybe a reminder of club etiquette. We have been to a few clubs lately and have had a few single guys just reach over nad grab one of us without so much as a hello just trying to dive straight in. This is the easiest way to get blown out by us as even tho i am submissive i still demand respect from people. So can i ask all the single guys in clubs to maybe speak to people instead of just grabbing. The clubs have been quiet and i understand you see a fem or a couple in there and get all eager to play but rememeber manners would you do that in a normal bar or club ? Then why should a swingers club be any different. Moan over "

"We have been to a few clubs lately and have had a few single guys just reach over nad grab one of us without so much as a hello just trying to dive straight in"

That's the problem of the club...we go to Cupids and Townhouse and if any bloke tried to grab a female they would be bounced straight out the club and barred

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners cost nothing, use them in the right way and they are priceless! Hate Creeps like that in clubs that give us fellas a bad name, also can't stand the doorway wankers, float around looking for action, then drop there towels and start smashing away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think coloured wrist bands would be a good idea.

Straight,Bi and no single males for instance then all would know where they stand...."

yeah could have an orange one for cock sucking a red one to say you like kissing and a green one to say you like blondes and a brown wrist band for anal and a white one for facials and a pink one for arse to mouth and a blue one for liking 69'ers and a yellow one for no black or asian guys and a beige one for no whites and a.... run outa ideas now

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By *orksvalleyguyMan
over a year ago

leeds

"I think the best way for anyone to behave is as if they are at a regular vanilla bar or club."

That's my approach. Except guys don't mind as much when you say you really fancy their missus

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By *exyswingersCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because your in a singers club we are all human.it takes nothing just to say hi how you both doing do you mind if I join you.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I go to clubs for the single men.

But I don't appreciate those who touch without an invite.

I have observed that the ones who introduce themselves and chat in the social areas are the ones who get.invited to play later - this goes.for singles and couples.

So bothering to walk up to people and say hello, or you look great, or I'm really nervous tonight... This is what will get you play.

Both Fabio and Mr Lick have said they generally have fun at clubs. It's because both have a well grounded attitude that if play doesn't happen it's not a ruined night! And they are both sociable, polite friendly men - take note people!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I think for me I see going into a club no differently than if I am going out on the town.... you wouldn't just stand there like a lemon and not say boo to a goose all night...

so why people act differently because they are in a swinging club is beyond me....

in a way in a club you have the decision to be your own best asset (you and your personality shining) or your own worst enemy in the way that you conduct yourself... and then the guys have the audacity to complain about "no action" (i hate that phrase when it comes to clubs and playing)...

if people went in with the attitude of "no expectations" that would make a world of difference.....

p.s... i don't think clubs that pay women to be there help with the "expectation factor" at all.. but that is a different topic....

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By *obby ShaftaMan
over a year ago

Gateshead

Hi as a single bloke who goes to clubf and s3cr3ts I always speak to people there and I too get infuriated by the men who go and think they have a divine right to grab at any woman who is there.

Please stop it; the very least you can do is say hello and if your lucky who knows what that might lead to.

If your polite and friendly you are at least welcomed back and will no doubt be able to at least get no some people.

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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

"I go to clubs for the single men.

But I don't appreciate those who touch without an invite.

I have observed that the ones who introduce themselves and chat in the social areas are the ones who get.invited to play later - this goes.for singles and couples.

So bothering to walk up to people and say hello, or you look great, or I'm really nervous tonight... This is what will get you play.

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By *ub bbw OP Woman
over a year ago

oldbury

p.s... i don't think clubs that pay women to be there help with the "expectation factor" at all.. but that is a different topic...."

No they dont as it makes guys assume we are all the same however as you say thats for another topic

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