FabSwingers.com forum: Awkward single guys in clubs part 2

By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

Seeing as Fabio finally contributed in the first thread, only fair to keep it going.

I thought there was a good range of opinions, and at least an opportunity for us all to see it from the other point of view.

My conclusions so far:

Yes, it can be scary and intimidating for single guys to attend clubs, and they will receive a few knock backs.

Yes, many couples and single ladies feel intimidated by groups of single guys depending on their behaviour

But.... keep your eyes on the prize. Many couples are looking for single guys. Just pick an appropriate time to say hello.

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

Clubs can be awkward but in my experience if you go with no expectations, are able to talk to others then its a great place to chill and relax.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Seeing as Fabio finally contributed in the first thread, only fair to keep it going.

I thought there was a good range of opinions, and at least an opportunity for us all to see it from the other point of view.

My conclusions so far:

Yes, it can be scary and intimidating for single guys to attend clubs, and they will receive a few knock backs.

Yes, many couples and single ladies feel intimidated by groups of single guys depending on their behaviour

But.... keep your eyes on the prize. Many couples are looking for single guys. Just pick an appropriate time to say hello.

If it weren't for the two fantastic nights I've had in Club f, I wouldn't consider visiting as a solo guy ever again. There's no 'fear factor' now, for me to attend any club, but I will be very selective about which night I go in future. Fingers crossed there will be a club scene to explore again, and I might be able to meet some of these couples and single females who actually look for solo guys in clubs.....

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By *unguy0069Man
over a year ago

Reigate

I've been to a number of clubs (pre covid) as a single guy and have made a lot of friends. Some I've played with and some I haven't. Some one day we might and some we most likely never will. I'm Facebook friends with a large number of couples and singles and have even been to a wedding of a couple who weren't even fans of single guys (we've never played but are good friends). Also, some couples show no interest at all in even talking and if that's the case (and it's not hard to figure it out) I just respectfully leave them alone.

I'm not trying to brag or score points, but just say that I only aim to be polite and sociable. I often hope or like the idea of something happening but I never expect and it's never the first thing I talk about. Some nights at clubs I've been to, it's been full on wild and some nights, the nearest I've got to getting me fella out is to go for a pee (in the gents...on my own!) but still have a nice night just chatting.

I've seen single guys run around like a dog with 2 dicks giving us all a bad name. They wouldn't like it if they had their space invaded when out and about in vanilla world, so why would it be OK for them to behave like that in a club?

Just chill out. What will be will be and what won't won't.

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Op is quite correct about groups of single men - we've been to clubs where groups of men (obviously all together) followed us all night.

Shingle guys hoping to pull should either go it alone or with ONE friend. We often have one or two guys joining us to play, but never a group.

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By *dores blackmenWoman
over a year ago

incognito mode ;-)

I think post covid has helped some single guys to be more respectful of peoples personal space,as most clubs that opened since July, are not offering space to play,it's all about the socializing and relaxed atmosphere

It's the best time at present to join clubs and experience the social side,making new friends

(After this lockdown maybe give it a try)

We have all had occasional problems with some single guys,pre-covid,I'm certainly not missing the wandering hands in the hottub,uninvited without a spoken word etc

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"Op is quite correct about groups of single men - we've been to clubs where groups of men (obviously all together) followed us all night.

Shingle guys hoping to pull should either go it alone or with ONE friend. We often have one or two guys joining us to play, but never a group."
. As a single guy I go to club by myself the first time a little daunting but it gets easier the more you do it.Yes when I have pulled it’s because I have taken the time to talk to single ladies and couples and always make sure I talk to the male of the couple as it’s disrespectful not too. I know from speaking to couples that there is nothing more off putting for them than been followed around or guys trying to join in without some sort of conversation or been asked to join in.For me the key to having a good night is to go with the intention of enjoying my night out and anything else is a bonus.No expectations no disappointments

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I've been to a number of clubs (pre covid) as a single guy and have made a lot of friends. Some I've played with and some I haven't. Some one day we might and some we most likely never will. I'm Facebook friends with a large number of couples and singles and have even been to a wedding of a couple who weren't even fans of single guys (we've never played but are good friends). Also, some couples show no interest at all in even talking and if that's the case (and it's not hard to figure it out) I just respectfully leave them alone.

Just chill out. What will be will be and what won't won't."

I've experienced the "guys with two dicks " situation in clubs and gave up going . I found it a no win situation tbh.

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

Just chill out. What will be will be and what won't won't.

I've experienced the "guys with two dicks " situation in clubs and gave up going . I found it a no win situation tbh. "

As I say, it was probably inevitable that some would see this thread as me being negative about “all” single guys in clubs.

Not at all. We see everyone as individuals. Which is very difficult with those who hunt as a pack or wander around with their tongue hanging out.

We’ve had great social nights with our single guy friends and we miss them very much.

And we’ve seen plenty of single guys, those who are fun to be around, sociable etc. have loads of sexy fun in the clubs.

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By *perfectpair5050Couple
over a year ago

marlbourgh

Never had a problem with single guys in clubs The clubs can be quite boring without them always found them to be quite respectful

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Just chill out. What will be will be and what won't won't.

I've experienced the "guys with two dicks " situation in clubs and gave up going . I found it a no win situation tbh.

As I say, it was probably inevitable that some would see this thread as me being negative about “all” single guys in clubs.

Not at all. We see everyone as individuals. Which is very difficult with those who hunt as a pack or wander around with their tongue hanging out.

We’ve had great social nights with our single guy friends and we miss them very much.

And we’ve seen plenty of single guys, those who are fun to be around, sociable etc. have loads of sexy fun in the clubs. "

Sorry , wasn't trying to be negative. Just been my experience . I'm not one for pushing in , quite the opposite and when i see too much unwanted attention the last thing I want to do is hang around.

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

Just chill out. What will be will be and what won't won't.

I've experienced the "guys with two dicks " situation in clubs and gave up going . I found it a no win situation tbh.

As I say, it was probably inevitable that some would see this thread as me being negative about “all” single guys in clubs.

Not at all. We see everyone as individuals. Which is very difficult with those who hunt as a pack or wander around with their tongue hanging out.

We’ve had great social nights with our single guy friends and we miss them very much.

And we’ve seen plenty of single guys, those who are fun to be around, sociable etc. have loads of sexy fun in the clubs.

Sorry , wasn't trying to be negative. Just been my experience . I'm not one for pushing in , quite the opposite and when i see too much unwanted attention the last thing I want to do is hang around."

Totally understand what you’re saying, you don’t want to be associated with those behaving badly.

Some of the clubs we go to have nights that are mainly couples but with limited “selected” single men, rather than a free for all.

You might want to look into that sort of night as an option?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never had a problem with single guys in clubs The clubs can be quite boring without them always found them to be quite respectful "

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By *uadzillaMan
over a year ago

Warwickshire

As a single guy, when I first went I had no clue what I was meant to do and was a little overwhelmed so I just followed the single guy routine that I saw until I was in the jacuzzi and overheard a couple say look here's the wanking zombies I chuckled and realised that's how a few people see some of the single guys and TBF they're right some of them could actually wear the carpet out on the amount of laps they do lol. For me I have met some great couples at chams and each one of those can see the genuine single guys over the wanking zombies and they get you involved in conversations etc whereas the others get mostly ignored. So single people just be genuine in the reasons why you are there and respect everyone and you'll be fine.

Thank you to everyone who's been kind to me in the club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often went to clubs on my own, got to know a few people over the time.. and help behind the bar if needed.. I do notice a lot of awkwardness and it is hard being a single guy in the club , i don’t approach people but I like to think I’m polite and approachable because people do seem to talk to me...

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By *angothreeMan
over a year ago

cramlington

Been to local clubs in my area, found it very awkward in one (shh) loads of guys following females and couples around, really felt sorry for them, thought would you follow them around like that outside of club environment probably not so why do it there. Club f on the other hand have a strict rule on how many single guys attend thus making a more friendly environment. No fun was had at my visits to shh but enjoyable time at club f, to club scene is similar to this site a small minority spoil it for the rest.

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

I tend to only go to clubs if I know a couple of people who are also also going.

For me, the bottom line we are like minded people. I've approached couples on my own and I've been just vehemently told to sling my hook.

I don't get that attitude. I think its a bit cynical. I'm here to get to know people, if sex happens to a bonus.

Just as often people tell me know nicely too, but again theres an assumption that I'm talking to you because my end game is sex. In a lot of cases, thats not the truth.

I don't like going as a single male where I know no one. I don't want to insert myself into conversations people because I don't want to appear over confident. At the same time, I don't want to be that lonely guy standing awkwardly in the corner because at the end of the day, thats not a good time either.

So yeah, I know won't really go to clubs alone, alone.

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By *lansmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I tend to only go to clubs if I know a couple of people who are also also going.

For me, the bottom line we are like minded people. I've approached couples on my own and I've been just vehemently told to sling my hook.

I don't get that attitude. I think its a bit cynical. I'm here to get to know people, if sex happens to a bonus.

Just as often people tell me know nicely too, but again theres an assumption that I'm talking to you because my end game is sex. In a lot of cases, thats not the truth.

So yeah, I know won't really go to clubs alone, alone.

Exactly how I feel. A no win situation . I'm doubtful that things will be different next year if/when the club's start to reopen.

As you say , the best chance a single guy has is to go along with a couple if possible.

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

It’s a shame to be put off, wasn’t my intention.

As a couple, we don’t play with single guys, but we ALWAYS welcome a chat with anyone who approaches us if we’re not otherwise engaged. Genuinely.

Sad that some single guys have been on the receiving end of rude behaviour from couples. Have to say, I think that’s fairly unusual, can’t remember seeing anything unpleasant like that anywhere we’ve been.

But I’m sure, when it happens, it must be very annoying. Can only reiterate, there are a lot of couples who are looking for guys. Possibly even more than are looking for ladies.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I tend to only go to clubs if I know a couple of people who are also also going.

For me, the bottom line we are like minded people. I've approached couples on my own and I've been just vehemently told to sling my hook.

I don't get that attitude. I think its a bit cynical. I'm here to get to know people, if sex happens to a bonus.

Just as often people tell me know nicely too, but again theres an assumption that I'm talking to you because my end game is sex. In a lot of cases, thats not the truth.

So yeah, I know won't really go to clubs alone, alone.

Exactly how I feel. A no win situation . I'm doubtful that things will be different next year if/when the club's start to reopen.

As you say , the best chance a single guy has is to go along with a couple if possible.

I often feel like a lone voice in the forum, being open and honest (maybe too honest sometimes) about my solo male club experiences, so appreciate the input from other guys. We’re all there for mutual respect, escape ‘ordinary life’ for a while, and share fun times

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"As a single guy, when I first went I had no clue what I was meant to do and was a little overwhelmed so I just followed the single guy routine that I saw until I was in the jacuzzi and overheard a couple say look here's the wanking zombies I chuckled and realised that's how a few people see some of the single guys and TBF they're right some of them could actually wear the carpet out on the amount of laps they do lol. For me I have met some great couples at chams and each one of those can see the genuine single guys over the wanking zombies and they get you involved in conversations etc whereas the others get mostly ignored. So single people just be genuine in the reasons why you are there and respect everyone and you'll be fine.

Thank you to everyone who's been kind to me in the club

"overheard a couple say look here's the wanking zombies". What a rude couple. No wonder some of them have such a bad reputation as well. Rudeness is not nice from either sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy wanting to go to a club have always been put off. Not due to the lack of confidence because I have that in abundance. Can just imagine it being incredibly awkward. Do couples approach you, do you make the first move ? Do we all walk around naked. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Seeing as Fabio finally contributed in the first thread, only fair to keep it going.

Am I known as that much of a gobsshite..... my PR department will have to sort that out (the hung like a horse rumour failed miserably!... someone was fired!)

i think at the beginning when i was knew this time of thread would both scare and confuse me... as others said you can't do right for doing wrong!

now i am older, wiser, and quite frankly couldn't give a shit.... i think the best then you can do is let you be you!

if i say hi and you say hi back... cool!

if i say hi and you scowl back... not my problem!!!

i promise now... no more talking... i'll let my PR team get back to trying to recirculate that "hung like a horse" rumour!

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

"As a single guy wanting to go to a club have always been put off. Not due to the lack of confidence because I have that in abundance. Can just imagine it being incredibly awkward. Do couples approach you, do you make the first move ? Do we all walk around naked. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Best if you make the move, as he who hesitates is lost.

Clothing wise, depends on the club, some are dress down, others are not - the club website will tell you

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

Best if you make the move, as he who hesitates is lost.

Clothing wise, depends on the club, some are dress down, others are not - the club website will tell you"

Good heavens what's the problem, just treat it like any social situation! Polite and respectful is what people want and the ability to hold a conversation!.

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

Thank you to everyone who's been kind to me in the club

"overheard a couple say look here's the wanking zombies". What a rude couple. No wonder some of them have such a bad reputation as well. Rudeness is not nice from either sex. "

I think they were referring to a gaggle of naked men literally walking around cock in hand etc - it does happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My gf and I often play with single guys at the club! Whether that be with someone who grabbed our attention in a private room or if I have her tied down to be used by all in the fetish room!

But for God's sake guys, put your locker keys on your ankle! Nothing more off putting than constant wank jangles when you're putting on a bdsm show

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By *roovytodgerMan
over a year ago

Leeds

When we can, I'll be taking my very hot trans girlfriend to clubs and we'll actively encourage single guys to play with her. We're both very sexual and kinky. She's very submissive and loves to show off and get lots of men lusting after her and playing with her and I really get turned on by letting them, and joining in.

I'm also intending on taking one of my subs with us as well on some occasions. Kittie, my girlfriend, and Vicki are 22 & 23, both about 5'7", and very slim and attractive. We're planning on getting matching outfits for them and I have matching collars. Kittie will be blonde and Vicki has black hair.

Going to clubs will be new experiences for us and we're excited at the prospect. Any advice on what to expect will be welcome please. What effect will the girls being pre-op trans have?

Btw, I suppose some will decide that I'm making this up. I'm not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weve generally met well behaved singles in clubs as we go on nights allowing single gents. Most will chat if your sat in a communal area...eg the bar smoking area etc..few if any actually approach if we are sat in huddle with others be they singles or couples..maybe we've been lucky but know chams take strict action on those that misbehave..

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By *uadzillaMan
over a year ago

Warwickshire

Thank you to everyone who's been kind to me in the club

"overheard a couple say look here's the wanking zombies". What a rude couple. No wonder some of them have such a bad reputation as well. Rudeness is not nice from either sex.

I think they were referring to a gaggle of naked men literally walking around cock in hand etc - it does happen."

Yeah think you're right, feel they were just trying to be funny with it but it certainly made me think about how I should show myself in the club, didn't put me off I genuinely love the couples in clubs find it easier to talk too rather than single ladies, I haven't quite built the courage up yet to show interest......one day I will

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Thank you to everyone who's been kind to me in the club

"overheard a couple say look here's the wanking zombies". What a rude couple. No wonder some of them have such a bad reputation as well. Rudeness is not nice from either sex.

I think they were referring to a gaggle of naked men literally walking around cock in hand etc - it does happen."

It's still rude whether it's one or several.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

We are not looking for men to play with but we do love talking to everyone and we would make everyone no matter who they were feel welcome .A smile and a polite conversation costs nothing.

We have met the odd single man who will totally blank my husband and just try and engage me in conversation which is extremely rude but the nice decent men definitely outweigh the rude ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for every guy who misbehaves there will be a couple or woman doing the same its not just a single guy thing most guys are decent seen plenty of guys from couples expect things on a plate (and the woman too) just because they are part of a couple and lets not forget the single pissed woman here n there ...

clubs are great its so easy face to face rather than message after message ...and if you go to a clicky club then dont go back find another

the clubs with bigger mix are the best where they do let more guys in and bi gay trans and kinks these are the best clubs

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

Just caught up on part 1 and for people who don't know the OP it actually really did come across as single men being the lesser species. Sounds like you're trying to turn it around a bit for part 2 though.

I don't understand why guys are always being singled out as clueless, rude, with the tendency to grab/jump on without invitation. By far the majority I've come across in clubs have been totally decent. Just the occasional exception. But same goes for couples and females who can be totally rude and entitled just the same. So maybe stop labelling this behaviour to single guys.

If it wasn't for single guys, I wouldn't be going to clubs, so really hope the pretentious undertone I've seen on here too frequently won't put you guys off x

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Just caught up on part 1 and for people who don't know the OP it actually really did come across as single men being the lesser species. Sounds like you're trying to turn it around a bit for part 2 though.

If it wasn't for single guys, I wouldn't be going to clubs, so really hope the pretentious undertone I've seen on here too frequently won't put you guys off x"

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

If it wasn't for single guys, I wouldn't be going to clubs, so really hope the pretentious undertone I've seen on here too frequently won't put you guys off x"

I’ll be honest; there’s been very little positivity shown for single guys from this thread, and the general undertone running throughout is still the same, summed up eloquently in “he who hesitates is lost”. So the onus is still on the solo guy, to always make the first move.

What this thread has shown, is that the Southern clubs appear to be more solo guy friendly (or the Southerners use the forums more), and there are actually solo females using clubs too

I’ve not been enthused to visit any clubs as a solo guy again though, without having a prearranged meet/knowing a friendly face inside

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By *roovytodgerMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"...the clubs with bigger mix are the best where they do let more guys in and bi gay trans and kinks these are the best clubs"

Thank you, that's very helpful to know. Just need to find out which clubs have a bigger mix now!

Any recommendations will be very welcome..

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

"...the clubs with bigger mix are the best where they do let more guys in and bi gay trans and kinks these are the best clubs

Thank you, that's very helpful to know. Just need to find out which clubs have a bigger mix now!

Any recommendations will be very welcome..

The Attic in Derby gets a very wide range of people in - especially on Saturday nights.

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By *roovytodgerMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"The Attic in Derby gets a very wide range of people in - especially on Saturday nights."

Thank you Pud & Bryan, noted! Actually, it's a place I've thought of taking my gf. Definitely will now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a interesting read......

I have a few questions.....

If a couple has no intentions of playing with a single guy.... Why would you go to club that allows single guys on that night? Wouldn’t the couples only night be more suitable?

It’s like a vegan going to steakhouse, and complaining that they can’t find anything to eat....

Also to the single gentleman that are going to sex/swinging clubs with no intention of having sex and are perfectly fine just socializing....

Wouldn’t it be economically sound to just go to a pub or night club?

Why pay a membership and entrance fee if you are just happy to drink and talk all night?

You could take the money you saved on entrance/membership fees and buy more drinks in a vanilla place.....

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

"This is a interesting read......

I have a few questions.....

If a couple has no intentions of playing with a single guy.... Why would you go to club that allows single guys on that night? Wouldn’t the couples only night be more suitable?

It’s like a vegan going to steakhouse, and complaining that they can’t find anything to eat....

Also to the single gentleman that are going to sex/swinging clubs with no intention of having sex and are perfectly fine just socializing....

Wouldn’t it be economically sound to just go to a pub or night club?

Why pay a membership and entrance fee if you are just happy to drink and talk all night?

You could take the money you saved on entrance/membership fees and buy more drinks in a vanilla place....."

Each persons needs are different for me as a single attending clubs, its better than a pub as everyone there is interested in a more liberal lifestyle and won't be offended with sexual content. I like the voyeur aspect of clubs and the atmosphere. Yes it isn't a cheap night out but its my choice what I spend my money on.

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

"This is a interesting read......

I have a few questions.....

If a couple has no intentions of playing with a single guy.... Why would you go to club that allows single guys on that night? Wouldn’t the couples only night be more suitable?

It’s like a vegan going to steakhouse, and complaining that they can’t find anything to eat....

Also to the single gentleman that are going to sex/swinging clubs with no intention of having sex and are perfectly fine just socializing....

Wouldn’t it be economically sound to just go to a pub or night club?

Why pay a membership and entrance fee if you are just happy to drink and talk all night?

You could take the money you saved on entrance/membership fees and buy more drinks in a vanilla place....."

Not at all... There simply aren’t as many couples nights as mixed nights, same across the country.

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

If it wasn't for single guys, I wouldn't be going to clubs, so really hope the pretentious undertone I've seen on here too frequently won't put you guys off x"

Well part 3 might go the other way again. Lots of people, including single guys, have contributed on the thread, many agree, many disagree, it’s a forum innit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first started on fab many many years ago, the advice all the 'experienced' fabbers gave to a single guy was to go to a club and you'll get veris. I wasn't looking veris, I was simply looking some fun with one or two selective ladies.

Anyway I was working in Liverpool so decided to try out a club. With a deep hand in the pocket I went along. I'm a respectful quiet type and a people watcher, tried to start up conversation with a few people who were sitting around chatting but it was like blood out of a stone as a lone single guy. Got chatting to a single lady and bought her a drink, very soon 3 guys came over whom she obviously knew well by their conversation and I was immediately sidelined and ended up just listened to their conversation for about 5 mins. I excuses myself and went to the bar and finished my drink. People coming in ordered drinks and sat in their groups but clearly not welcoming. I decided this wasn't as described by the forumites as that open and welcoming. I left and got my coat. Two weeks later I gave it another go in Manchester. The rudeness of two couples when simple asked if I could join them at the table put me off couples completely and have since never considered meeting anyone as a couple. Another drink and it was time to leave. Never returned to a club in 7 years and it took me a good few years and much convincing to even go to a fab social even with a plus1.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our take on the situation. Of the clubs we have been to, most have had limits on how many single guys are in there so it's not full of guys following you about. Pretty much all have been polite and non pushy. We have had lovely talks with a few of them (although most avoid us as we are fatties). When we have played a bit there will always be guys watching but all have been respectful and not just grabbed or poked. Yes there have been some guys that seem to think all women want them and prance about like they own the place but not a lot at the clubs we've been to.

I know it's difficult for single guys but just remember that everyone at the clubs area there for the same reason (mostly). Stick with it guys, don't get disillusioned and just be friendly

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"When I first started on fab many many years ago, the advice all the 'experienced' fabbers gave to a single guy was to go to a club and you'll get veris. I wasn't looking veris, I was simply looking some fun with one or two selective ladies.

My conclusion is, they are for certain types and not for others. The types that are constantly telling single guys to go haven't walked in their shoes and even if they have, the shoes may have been quite different shoes."
. Sorry to read of your unpleasant experiences at clubs.My experience of the couples and single ladies I have met at club and spa who are my sort of age are happy enough to chat to me and the conversation flows fairly easily.However the ones say 15 - 20 years younger than me getting a conversation to flow has been hard work but not impossible.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We have found that chatting on here can help. We generally put a meet up if we are going to a Club. If people want to say hi as they are going also, we are very happy to chat. Nothing is promised, but it allows us all to have someone to chat to at Clubs.

When we are at Clubs, we generally go on evenings where single guys are allowed. For us, the atmosphere is a bit different than a couples only night and we like this. We are always happy to chat, but always reserve the right to say no to action!

Give it a go, talk to people and keep trying. We are not everyones cup of tea, but that is fine as we don’t find everyone to work for us

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By *yphodMan
over a year ago

London

As a single (and a little shy) male who travels a lot and have been to many clubs around the UK and Europe my observations are as follows.

It's easier to strike up a conversation in a spa like club, a cheeky compliment can go far.

It's harder to approach in a bar area especially when groups of regular couples are sitting together.

The groups of men following couples around does put me off, so even those of us who do hold back are often tarred with the same brush.

On the whole single men have less chance in the UK compared to Europe, but then again you generally pay more as a single man.

Couples in Europe are more likely to ask a single man to join them.

Clubs are on the whole a more sexy environment having had serious money spent on them making for a more intimate atmosphere.

More single females willing to play with a single man (which to be honest is my preference and not something I have experienced in a UK club) especially in Paris.

In some clubs in Germany the advised procedure is, if you want to play is to gently touch (leg/back/arm) if you are not brushed away it is an invite to play, avoids the while awkwardness of trying to strike up a conversation, trying to steer the conversation to play without sounding desperate.

Games. The best experience I had was in Denmark where the club owners put games to get the party going. Naked twister, Lubbed up wrestling and an Oral sex competition.

In fact staff that actually care, make for a much better club. Bar staff, dressed to thrill, staff who notice a shy person sitting on their own who may introduce you to others.

One problem however with Spa type clubs if condoms are not provided in the play rooms, the flow is interrupted when you have to go to the locker to get one. One club is Paris gives you a wristband with key and a pocket for the condom.

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By *redy81Man
over a year ago

London

In some clubs in Germany the advised procedure is, if you want to play is to gently touch (leg/back/arm) if you are not brushed away it is an invite to play.

Games. The best experience I had was in Denmark where the club owners put games to get the party going. Naked twister, Lubbed up wrestling and an Oral sex competition.

The idea of encouaraging single men to touch even gently without talk and ask first sounds terrible.

Maybe it`s okay some special rooms (I think it works like this in dark rooms here in London, but they are not my cup of tea, so never been.,,

), or special events, but as a rule for general parties, I thinks its a really terrible idea.

But the idea of games sounds cool!

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By *redy81Man
over a year ago

London

I can definitely recommend to single guys to choose an event with as limited single men as possible, at least for your first visits. Costs a bit more, but a completely different experience. I remember my first visits in OP4F, tried Sundays and Saturdays too, the difference like hell and heaven...

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By *etsplay68Man
over a year ago

beaconsfield

been going to clubs for a while now and reckon

1 - you go with no expectations , remember its a very special gesture to be invited to play with a gorgeous lady

2- good hygiene, shower , smell nice and make sure your bresth is fresh

3- smile and try to engage in chilled out conversation , not (do you guys want to play )

i've always been layed back and polite and have had some great fun and made some good friends .

remember most of the people that go are just hard working normal folk that just want a bit of fun away from there normal lives with other normal people - not pushy twats and most guys will have a decent experience

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By *wentMan
over a year ago

blackpool

I haven’t read all the responses. But I have been to clubs as a single guy. I Would consider myself shy and quiet, so sometimes i have felt like a loner in a club, and found myself wandering around sometimes aimlessly not knowing what to do with myself.

But on other occasions I have felt relaxed as got talking to some really nice people and couples. I think sometimes it all depends on the people who are in and if you get a good connection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds about right.

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By *yphodMan
over a year ago

London

In the UK at least Swingers clubs tend to be more couple/single female orientated, with single men being the cash cow. If you go very regular and don't get out off and become a familiar face you probably get more luck. Some guys just have the gift of the gab.

European clubs on the whole tend to be sex clubs (without the professional ladies) with a higher proportion of single women and are just more direct about what they are there for. You get a lot of beating about the the bush in the UK, Germans are very direct. Say hello at the bar, get a look up and down and will often tell you they will be in the play area soon.

Have to say the same goes for general dating in Germany.

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By *avidandherCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

We have only been to clubs in Agde, particularly the linked couples only and mixed saunas. We don't fully swap, but do enjoy single guys as well as couples joining in with us.

We find that the mixed part of the club is more comfortable and the pool is bigger and better. Couples who don't want the attentions of single guys can stay in the couples only part, but those that do enter the mixed area are more or less saying that they are open to approach by single guys.

There are obviously language problems when it comes to chatting, so we find the pool is the easiest place to meet people. The usual approach is a hand touching Anne's arm, or back or leg. This is either a quite decisive rapid approach or after a slow creep towards us, wanking underwater. We don't really mind either way, as now we know what to expect. It is only rarely that we find the hand connected to a Brit and that is an treat, usually, for all of us. Mostly, though, it's smiles, sign and body language for communication. Well that works for us.

We wanted to try some UK clubs, but got caught in Covid. Here we would expect a chat, a "hi" or at least a "may I" before the laying on of hands.

We are booked for Agde again in mid May, so maybe some of you will see us in the sauna.

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

"We have only been to clubs in Agde, particularly the linked couples only and mixed saunas. We don't fully swap, but do enjoy single guys as well as couples joining in with us.

We wanted to try some UK clubs, but got caught in Covid. Here we would expect a chat, a "hi" or at least a "may I" before the laying on of hands.

We are booked for Agde again in mid May, so maybe some of you will see us in the sauna.

Ahh the doorway to fun in Cap love the place and the relaxed attitude.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

It’s interesting actually I have been on the lady touching without asking.

Now normally I don’t mind but I don’t tend to play with people who appear to have d*unk a lot, if they are a friend that’s different but a new person unlikely. Often a lady will grab my towel or grab cock without saying anything. I don’t mind a cheeky ooo that looks nice ot do you mind.

If a couple is playing on a open bed then I will wank and watch at a sensible distance. The same if a doer is open to a room stand at doorway and then get invited in

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I only go to clubs if I am with someone or.meeting someone. It's too awkward as a single guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only go to clubs if I am with someone or.meeting someone. It's too awkward as a single guy"

Which rather puts a spanner in the oft-promoted view that single guys should go to clubs to get to know people.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I only go to clubs if I am with someone or.meeting someone. It's too awkward as a single guy

Which rather puts a spanner in the oft-promoted view that single guys should go to clubs to get to know people."

Total.wate of time going to a club to meet people as a single guy. Hiu will pay something like 80 to 100 and be ignoes nynall the couple and single women. Your better off meeting people at a social or on here and arrange to meet at a club

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By *uliaChris OP Couple
over a year ago

westerham

"I only go to clubs if I am with someone or.meeting someone. It's too awkward as a single guy

Which rather puts a spanner in the oft-promoted view that single guys should go to clubs to get to know people.

As I say, we do often see single guys having a great time in clubs.

Many times, we as a couple have approached another couple, or a single lady, and been knocked back.

It happens to everyone honestly.

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

In some clubs in Germany the advised procedure is, if you want to play is to gently touch (leg/back/arm) if you are not brushed away it is an invite to play.

Games. The best experience I had was in Denmark where the club owners put games to get the party going. Naked twister, Lubbed up wrestling and an Oral sex competition.

The idea of encouaraging single men to touch even gently without talk and ask first sounds terrible.

Maybe it`s okay some special rooms (I think it works like this in dark rooms here in London, but they are not my cup of tea, so never been.,,

), or special events, but as a rule for general parties, I thinks its a really terrible idea.

But the idea of games sounds cool!

Touch without asking for me wouldn't result to someone being brushed away. More likely a foot not so gently in someone's face

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I only go to clubs if I am with someone or.meeting someone. It's too awkward as a single guy

Which rather puts a spanner in the oft-promoted view that single guys should go to clubs to get to know people.

Total waste of time going to a club to meet people as a single guy. You will pay something like 80 to 100 and be ignored by all the couple and single women. You're better off meeting people at a social or on here and arrange to meet at a club"

It's not a total waste of time going to a club as a solo guy. IF you get the right night, with the right people in, it CAN be an enjoyable experience, and worth the effort and expense (I've never paid £80 -£100 and wouldn't ever btw).

I will agree that using Fab is far easier to find people who WANT to meet a solo guy, based on my ACTUAL experiences

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By *ebra321Man
over a year ago

London

Just chill out. What will be will be and what won't won't."

Like this post and position. Single on this but always visit clubs with wife

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By *londenewcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stafford

We’ve played with loads of single guys in clubs. Key is, don’t be pushy, don’t be needy and take a hint. Patient, polite but relaxed and say hi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes the tone on here is still anti single men lol

Same at some clubs too

I had a rude couple message me on part 1 of the thread

So funny!!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Yes the tone on here is still anti single men lol

Same at some clubs too

I had a rude couple message me on part 1 of the thread

So funny!!"

I’ve received snide dm’s off the back of some of my honest reviews of my solo male club experiences too, and you can tell the kind of people they are, as they block you before being able to reply!

However, I will say, that I’ve had far more positive private messages from (mostly) single females, couples, and even club owners

So never be afraid to speak your mind in the forums, you don’t know what good things may come of it

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By *portyndNaughtyMan
over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley

"We’ve played with loads of single guys in clubs. Key is, don’t be pushy, don’t be needy and take a hint. Patient, polite but relaxed and say hi. "

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"We’ve played with loads of single guys in clubs. Key is, don’t be pushy, don’t be needy and take a hint. Patient, polite but relaxed and say hi.

Liberty Elite does seem a great club for solo guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We go to clubs with single guys in mind , nice environment with no pressure

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By *attM73Man
over a year ago

Oldham