FabSwingers.com forum: Best club for a first timer (eventually!)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Only joined fab at the start of lockdown 1 and I’m really keen to try a club once things reopen.

I went to Rios a few times in the 00s but that’s it.

Which club in London/SE would you think is the best for a single female first timer?

I’m straight but keen to play with bi/bi-curious men and MM couples. I’m also quite gender nonconforming/tomboyish; some of the dress codes I’ve seen on some clubs seem to be quite restrictive on ladies attire! I don’t wear feminine lingerie or heels.

Any tips for a female first timer?

Will I annoy MF couples if I keep saying no? (Assuming I get asked, which is probably a bit presumptuous of me

)

Anyone willing to answer any more of my naive questions

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Which clubs insist on feminine lingerie and heels ?

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By *uLou69Couple
over a year ago

Glos

"Only joined fab at the start of lockdown 1 and I’m really keen to try a club once things reopen.

I went to Rios a few times in the 00s but that’s it.

Which club in London/SE would you think is the best for a single female first timer?

Any tips for a female first timer?

Will I annoy MF couples if I keep saying no? (Assuming I get asked, which is probably a bit presumptuous of me

)

Anyone willing to answer any more of my naive questions

Chameleons at Darlaston if it ever opens again. They have very nice affordable rooms to stay over as well. Go mid week though when it’s quieter as Friday nights might put you off a little, it just gets a bit busy for a first time. Bi night on a Monday is always great if you are open minded and naked nights on Tuesday if you are comfortable in your own skin...you should be btw!!

It’s a great place and the staff will look after you well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

One I was accepted into (in London - don’t really say which) say they strongly encourage ladies to wear heels and don’t accept boots/trainers etc. I asked if I could wear shorts and they were dubious as they worry if women wear shorts men will want to as well.

Obviously I’m not talking about clothing optional places

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s a great place and the staff will look after you well."

Sorry if this is a REALLY stupid question but are straight women welcome at bi nights?

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By *uLou69Couple
over a year ago

Glos

"One I was accepted into (in London - don’t really say which) say they strongly encourage ladies to wear heels and don’t accept boots/trainers etc. I asked if I could wear shorts and they were dubious as they worry if women wear shorts men will want to as well.

Obviously I’m not talking about clothing optional places

Feet first, wet clubs they way ahead. Towels or whatever you feel comfortable in or out of.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Feet first, wet clubs they way ahead. Towels or whatever you feel comfortable in or out of."

Where is that one? I am definitely keen to go to Rios again, see how it’s changed in the last 15 years (I bet it hasn’t!)

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"Only joined fab at the start of lockdown 1 and I’m really keen to try a club once things reopen.

I went to Rios a few times in the 00s but that’s it.

Which club in London/SE would you think is the best for a single female first timer?

Any tips for a female first timer?

Will I annoy MF couples if I keep saying no? (Assuming I get asked, which is probably a bit presumptuous of me

)

Anyone willing to answer any more of my naive questions

"
. You mentioned that you are keen to play with bi bi curious men then you may want to consider Bi fun club every 2 weeks on a Monday starts at 11.00 am and ends at about 3.00 pm it’s in the Sutton area.I have never been but I know a lady that has and she has a good time she says there is something for everyone straight , gay , bi , tv / ts.I am a member at Our Place 4 Fun ( OP4F ) in North London near Alexandra Palace station.You may want to check out their website with regards to dress code and what night maybe best for you.Best of luck with your search

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our Place 4 Fun (OP4F) for definite. Big enough to have a variety of places to socialise and play, small enough that it stays friendly and welcoming. The girls that run it are amazing and you get a tour on your first visit. Highly recommended xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks, I will register at OP4F!

I have heard of Bi Fun Club but I wasn’t sure if straight people would be welcome. But if they would then excellent, I will bear it in mind!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit of a hike from London; but Townhouse on the Wirral is a great club for anyone wanting to dip their toes into the club scene.

Well managed, spotless, friendly management, staff and fellow club goers

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By *ireAndIce200Couple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

It sounds like you’d enjoy Purple Mamba on a kink night It’s always best to check the events/dress code for any club before we’ve noticed different events have different dress codes, not just separate clubs

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

I think it depends on what you like more than which club.

Do you like to dance & listen to loud music or rather a quieter chatty environment?

Do you like hot tubs, saunas, pools or a dry club?

Do you like a glass of wine? Are you happy to take your own or would you rather go to a licensed venue?

Are you looking for couples only nights or single men?

Do you want to stay local or travel away a bit and stay overnight?

Or are you like me and I like all of the above depending on my mood &/or the week I've had?

Look at what's local and then not so local and at what has what you are looking for and if applicable to see

Saying no is part of the experience. Stand tall and in no time you'll be able to say no in a number of gentle and friendly ways

You'll also get to know some people and recognise faces quickly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it depends on what you like more than which club.

Do you like to dance & listen to loud music or rather a quieter chatty environment?

Do you like hot tubs, saunas, pools or a dry club?

Do you like a glass of wine? Are you happy to take your own or would you rather go to a licensed venue?

Are you looking for couples only nights or single men?

Do you want to stay local or travel away a bit and stay overnight?

Or are you like me and I like all of the above depending on my mood &/or the week I've had?

Look at what's local and then not so local and at what has what you are looking for and if applicable to see

Saying no is part of the experience. Stand tall and in no time you'll be able to say no in a number of gentle and friendly ways

You'll also get to know some people and recognise faces quickly

This is fair!

I wouldn’t want couples only nights as I’m not part of a couple. I’d want to go somewhere I can meet single men, preferably not straight (although I’m straight myself)

I’ve only ever been to Rios so I have no idea what a dry club vs one with pools would be like. I guess it would be nice to try both.

I think I’d rather be in London so I can go home at the end.

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

[Removed by poster at 09/11/20 19:14:43]

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

The problem is, London's club scene is rather limited, and might get limited even more post-lockdown/post-Covid. As far as we know, there are only a few clubs in London: Le Boudoir, OurPlace4Fun, Kestrels/AbFabs near Heathrow airport plus Rio's (not exactly a swingers club, more just spa with extras). A bit further you have Eureka in Kent (more naturist than swingers), then more towards the North- VA (Vanilla Alternative), off A1 near Sandy, Jaydees on the other side of Black Cat Roundabout (off A1 again but more "in the sticks" than VA). The club scene seems to be more varied north of London, with some really great clubs. We've been to Chameleon in Darlaston, Liberty Elite near Lutterworth (not far from Rugby), Townhouse on Wirral. Each and every club has got their own style as well as ups and downs. Once we're back to some sort of normality, clubs reviews page will be back up so you could have a look at all different reviews and choose which club suits you the most.

Some clubs have got hotel rooms where you could stay for the night.

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

Don’t forget Hellfire.

It’s in Sunbury and is really friendly and you’d be welcome at bi nights or couples nights.

Dress how you feel comfy and just chat to people and see how you feel.

We love it there because it’s such a friendly place.

As a couple. We have no issue if you chat all night and say no.. there’s no pressure.

Have fun whatever you do.

B&J

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By *uLou69Couple
over a year ago

Glos

"Feet first, wet clubs they way ahead. Towels or whatever you feel comfortable in or out of.

Where is that one? I am definitely keen to go to Rios again, see how it’s changed in the last 15 years (I bet it hasn’t!) "

Just where the M5 meets the M6 off J9 of M6 north of you.

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By *eb77Man
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Most clubs do a Bi night, OP4F definitely did pre-covid, so might be worth seeing what their schedules are once restrictions are lifted.

Given your preferences it may be worth looking at gay saunas some hold bi nights/events and welcome women. Being saunas they tend to have towels/naked dress codes, and likely would mind you wearing shorts either.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Most clubs do a Bi night, OP4F definitely did pre-covid, so might be worth seeing what their schedules are once restrictions are lifted.

Not gonna lie, until recently I didn’t realise that “bi” in swinging basically means bi men. I assumed a straight woman wouldn’t be welcome at at thing labelled “bi” because, well, straight. But I’m getting that I was mistaken now

I was worrying about appropriating LGBT space but I guess not.

(Please don’t laugh at me, I realise I’m super naive)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paradise swingers hotel Blackpool they don’t discriminate

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I don’t wear heals and lingerie either in the main... Preferring rubber and doc martins.

. I have been to loads of clubs. You get all sorts

V x

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

London/SE would be Hellfire. OP4f is at Alexandra Palace (nearby) and very good. Hellfire is bigger, so needs more people to get the stmosphere. Give it a try when you can, you can say no to anything you don’t want. Clubs are great fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t wear heals and lingerie either in the main... Preferring rubber and doc martins.

. I have been to loads of clubs. You get all sorts

V x "

Sportswear and sometimes men’s underwear for me. God I’d love to go to a trainer/trackies night but they all seem to be for men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it reopens pleasures in Kent is great. They are all so friendly and it's a great place for beginners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Vanilla Alternative do a night aimed at bi men, at least they use to 3 years ago, not sure if they still do. It's not in London tho, it's up near Cambridge but they rent out hotel rooms and there's a dungeon area and big jacuzzi.

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By *implynaughty1Couple
over a year ago

stockport

Liberty's elite best club #,x

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By *unxxxMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Umm had similar thoughts whats the best club for a straight 53 man loves sex but I think would be shy first time at a club?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks, I will register at OP4F!

I have heard of Bi Fun Club but I wasn’t sure if straight people would be welcome. But if they would then excellent, I will bear it in mind!! "

I tried to message you about bi fun club. I am very dubious about that 1 and if you read what it says on the website you will understand why.

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By *heshcouple1Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Love Rio's....lol..

We are similar. Only been to clubs abroad in Barcelona ( except Rios ) So are looking forward to being able to get to some in Uk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks, I will register at OP4F!

I have heard of Bi Fun Club but I wasn’t sure if straight people would be welcome. But if they would then excellent, I will bear it in mind!!

I tried to message you about bi fun club. I am very dubious about that 1 and if you read what it says on the website you will understand why. "

Hey, you mean on the BFC website? I have read about it before but I haven’t been put off. I could change my settings if you wanted to message me privately

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Actually I’ve just read that if you’re single & straight then bi fun club isn’t for you (on their website) which is absolutely fair. I do worry as a straight person taking up space in an LGBT+ space.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

The bi nights are aimed specifically at bi men. I think the reason they do it is to allow men a safe place be who they want to be without judgement by straight male couples (it happens). I’m generally a straight woman but I have been in a relationship with a bi man, and love MM sex so they suit me perfectly.

If you go to a bi night identifying as M you should probably be bi but if you’re gender non specific it’s probably less so.

Some of the best clubs for not labelling specific genders are probably (in my opinion/that I’ve been to) bi fun club, the old VA bi night or club sx (now club play). Also the clubs that lean towards dress up and fetish rather than swinging (like torture garden)

In terms of clothing. I’d say sportswear isn’t the best idea whatever gender you want to present. Most put in a bit of an effort (more so at the dress up clubs) .

Hope that helps. A little.

V x

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Umm had similar thoughts whats the best club for a straight 53 man loves sex but I think would be shy first time at a club? "

Look around for whichever clubs are nearest to you, then, when Fab reopens the reviews section in here (when covid has been quashed), read the reviews (if any) left by other single guys. If similar blokes to you have enjoyed their time in a particular club, or at a specific event, there’s a good chance you will too.

The best piece of advice I would offer you (and any other single guy), is to contact the club/event host before you decide to visit, and ask when single guys are ACTIVELY SOUGHT

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The bi nights are aimed specifically at bi men. I think the reason they do it is to allow men a safe place be who they want to be without judgement by straight male couples (it happens). I’m generally a straight woman but I have been in a relationship with a bi man, and love MM sex so they suit me perfectly.

If you go to a bi night identifying as M you should probably be bi but if you’re gender non specific it’s probably less so.

In terms of clothing. I’d say sportswear isn’t the best idea whatever gender you want to present. Most put in a bit of an effort (more so at the dress up clubs) .

Hope that helps. A little.

V x "

Thanks it does!

I guess my main fear is that I go to a bi event, spend the whole time turning down women & MF couples, then get kicked out for being straight/annoy everyone.

And don’t worry I wouldn’t wear sportswear to a club (unless it was sportswear themed!). It’s so hard to find “sexy” wear that’s not feminine though. I might invest in a muscle harness.

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By *tjamespkMan
over a year ago

Woodford

Some great advice on here. Been to clubs with women and on my own, and as a single guy, the best has been Monday night at Chams. Really friendly atmosphere and fun people.

I also found it's really helpful to message a couple of people who are planning on going just to say hi. Makes breaking the ice much easier at the venue.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

If you go to a bi night identifying as M you should probably be bi but if you’re gender non specific it’s probably less so.

In terms of clothing. I’d say sportswear isn’t the best idea whatever gender you want to present. Most put in a bit of an effort (more so at the dress up clubs) .

Hope that helps. A little.

V x

Thanks it does!

I guess my main fear is that I go to a bi event, spend the whole time turning down women & MF couples, then get kicked out for being straight/annoy everyone.

And don’t worry I wouldn’t wear sportswear to a club (unless it was sportswear themed!). It’s so hard to find “sexy” wear that’s not feminine though. I might invest in a muscle harness. "
. If you let the organisers know you are straight but are interested in chatting , been social and getting to know the bi scene the worst they can say is no.You are entitled to say no you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.As long as you are respectful and not rude then I am sure you will be ok.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" If you let the organisers know you are straight but are interested in chatting , been social and getting to know the bi scene the worst they can say is no.You are entitled to say no you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.As long as you are respectful and not rude then I am sure you will be ok."

Thank you, that is reassuring!

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Chameleons at Darlaston if it ever opens again. They have very nice affordable rooms to stay over as well. Go mid week though when it’s quieter as Friday nights might put you off a little, it just gets a bit busy for a first time. Bi night on a Monday is always great if you are open minded and naked nights on Tuesday if you are comfortable in your own skin...you should be btw!!

It’s a great place and the staff will look after you well."

As much as it's our favourite place by a LONG way.. for a first time this seems like pretty poor suggestion with the dress code. What would a modest, non-lingerie woman wear at all?

Wouldn't want to second guess her, but clothes wise it's about the most extreme situation possible. Although Tuesdays would at least make it a simple choice...

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Thank you, that is reassuring! "

From our experiences of bi nights, the angle is more about creating a safe space for bi men. Like... it's not *for* them, but more NOT for bigots who, despite wanting "the girls to put on a show" will still actively assault bi guys if they come across them playing in a club. Tragic really. :-/

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

Thank you, that is reassuring! "
. No problem there are a lot of people on the club scene as well as club owners who can help you on your journey.A good respectful message to the club owners / management telling them who you are and what you are looking for can go a long way.Always remember it’s your journey and you are in control.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously I’m not talking about clothing optional places

Iv always been shoeless in clubs once Iv dressed down

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As much as it's our favourite place by a LONG way.. for a first time this seems like pretty poor suggestion with the dress code. What would a modest, non-lingerie woman wear at all?

Wouldn't want to second guess her, but clothes wise it's about the most extreme situation possible. Although Tuesdays would at least make it a simple choice..."

I’m not modest, I think I have a banging body

I’m just not feminine/into lace etc. I would be fine going somewhere that allowed me to, say, wear short shorts and a harness to show off my muscularity etc.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

As much as it's our favourite place by a LONG way.. for a first time this seems like pretty poor suggestion with the dress code. What would a modest, non-lingerie woman wear at all?

Wouldn't want to second guess her, but clothes wise it's about the most extreme situation possible. Although Tuesdays would at least make it a simple choice...

I’m not modest, I think I have a banging body

I’m just not feminine/into lace etc. I would be fine going somewhere that allowed me to, say, wear short shorts and a harness to show off my muscularity etc. "

Well in that case, see you in the smoking area. It's where the cool kids hang out. Dare you to undo my zip...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As much as it's our favourite place by a LONG way.. for a first time this seems like pretty poor suggestion with the dress code. What would a modest, non-lingerie woman wear at all?

Wouldn't want to second guess her, but clothes wise it's about the most extreme situation possible. Although Tuesdays would at least make it a simple choice...

I’m not modest, I think I have a banging body

I’m just not feminine/into lace etc. I would be fine going somewhere that allowed me to, say, wear short shorts and a harness to show off my muscularity etc.

Well in that case, see you in the smoking area. It's where the cool kids hang out. Dare you to undo my zip..."

Haha thanks but as I’ve said I’m not into MF couples

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By *ILL0811Man
over a year ago

Bedford

[Removed by poster at 10/11/20 12:03:03]

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By *ILL0811Man
over a year ago

Bedford

The bi club is great.

It’s really friendly place, you definitely wouldn’t be the only straight lady there and you can do what ever you want. It really is fun place with respectable and friendly people but lots of fun as well,I’m sure whatever you’d like to see or do will become reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chams Darleston was our first club..always made to feel welcome, lovely relaxed atmosphere..in our opinion the best club.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

If you go to a bi night identifying as M you should probably be bi but if you’re gender non specific it’s probably less so.

In terms of clothing. I’d say sportswear isn’t the best idea whatever gender you want to present. Most put in a bit of an effort (more so at the dress up clubs) .

Hope that helps. A little.

V x

Thanks it does!

I guess my main fear is that I go to a bi event, spend the whole time turning down women & MF couples, then get kicked out for being straight/annoy everyone.

And don’t worry I wouldn’t wear sportswear to a club (unless it was sportswear themed!). It’s so hard to find “sexy” wear that’s not feminine though. I might invest in a muscle harness. "

Most you don’t have to be a bi-woman. It’s directed at the men. There’s this weird thing that happens. Women are assumed to be bi and no one minds a bit of a woman woman show. But then men.... not so much. I’ve been asked to leave because my boyfriend was having sex with another man!!!!! I now avoid club nights that suggest any form of sexuality or gender discrimination.

V x

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"The bi club is great.

Agree. One of my favourites. So open. Non judgemental of any sexuality or gender. Always a great laugh.

V x

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

As much as it's our favourite place by a LONG way.. for a first time this seems like pretty poor suggestion with the dress code. What would a modest, non-lingerie woman wear at all?

Wouldn't want to second guess her, but clothes wise it's about the most extreme situation possible. Although Tuesdays would at least make it a simple choice...

I’m not modest, I think I have a banging body

I’m just not feminine/into lace etc. I would be fine going somewhere that allowed me to, say, wear short shorts and a harness to show off my muscularity etc. "

You’d be best one there in something like that

V x

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

"Only joined fab at the start of lockdown 1 and I’m really keen to try a club once things reopen.

I went to Rios a few times in the 00s but that’s it.

Which club in London/SE would you think is the best for a single female first timer?

Any tips for a female first timer?

Will I annoy MF couples if I keep saying no? (Assuming I get asked, which is probably a bit presumptuous of me

)

Anyone willing to answer any more of my naive questions

As to dress Chameleons is a dress down/towel club in terms of dress. It is common and perfectly acceptable for all genders simply to wear a towel or simply underwear (doesn't have to be fancy negligee) or nothing on a Tue of course (to be fair nothing is also fine any night if you want). You would totally not be the only lady in simply a towel. Towels are provided or bring your own.

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Most you don’t have to be a bi-woman. It’s directed at the men. There’s this weird thing that happens. Women are assumed to be bi and no one minds a bit of a woman woman show. But then men.... not so much. I’ve been asked to leave because my boyfriend was having sex with another man!!!!! I now avoid club nights that suggest any form of sexuality or gender discrimination.

V x "

Not exactly the enlightened scene you'd have liked to think it was is it?

I'd imagine most clubs would be happy to be able to enforce a permanent bi man friendly rule, but the financial hit they'd probably take when bigots refuse to go there any more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

V x

Not exactly the enlightened scene you'd have liked to think it was is it?

I'd imagine most clubs would be happy to be able to enforce a permanent bi man friendly rule, but the financial hit they'd probably take when bigots refuse to go there any more."

It does seem very much a double standard

I mean, if all women are assumed to be bi, but (presumably) it’s okay for straight women to say no to approaches from women; then surely it’s okay for men to be able to politely say no to approaches from other men

It’s 2020 after all

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

V x

Not exactly the enlightened scene you'd have liked to think it was is it?

I'd imagine most clubs would be happy to be able to enforce a permanent bi man friendly rule, but the financial hit they'd probably take when bigots refuse to go there any more.

It does seem very much a double standard

It’s 2020 after all

You’d think

Does my nut in. Really does.

V x

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

V x

Not exactly the enlightened scene you'd have liked to think it was is it?

I'd imagine most clubs would be happy to be able to enforce a permanent bi man friendly rule, but the financial hit they'd probably take when bigots refuse to go there any more.

It does seem very much a double standard

It’s 2020 after all

Well it's not even about "approaches". As I mentioned above, guests are warned before entering bi nights at Chams as some people that go will complain, and even attack bi guys if they see anything. You've also only got to see the number of couples here who shout in capital letters that they will not meet and couples where the guy has *EVER* had any bi experiences at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No I realise that. Brief wording on my part.

But yes I can believe it.

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