FabSwingers.com forum: clicky....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

anyone else find that some chat rooms are very clicky? its extremely hard to try and talk to some single fems or couples as you don't even get a polit hi back, even tho there profiles say they are looking for couples!? its very frustrating!

is it all an ego thing?? do you need to compliment them to be acknowledge....feed back please, where are we going wrong? have other couples/men noticed the same?? xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree! I think the chat rooms are very clicky.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so its not just us then! feel like the only time wanna know is if your getting your tits out or in full swing with your man! would be nice just to talk lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed definately clicky especially in one particular room

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By *heRainManMan
over a year ago

Warrington & Glasgow

Is the clicking not coming from your mouse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

totally agree, we love to chat 1st an get to know who we are talkin to

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I suppose it depends on your definition of a clique.

If you mean a group of people who like to know each other and who meet on a regular basis at parties and clubs.

A group of people who go into a chat room to chat and not necessarily play on cam.

Then maybe its a clique !

Then again if you are there to chat, and join in; maybe you wouldnt feel it was 'cliquey'.

Some people (and i am not suggesting the OP or any other people on this thread do this); come in chat, start directing, moan when they dont get the rooms attention imediatly, and moan when they dont get offered a meet on the first day.

They are going to feel it is a clique as they are going to get blocked, ignored or banned !

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By *pock123Couple
over a year ago

sheffield

Yes we have found that too. Say hi in the room and no one replies so gave up. Tend to private message with ppl we have met up with or who have contacted us directly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in all the years i have been back and forth not cliquey at all you get really good friends chatting but when someone just comes in and says wanna fuck or show us ya tits we dont answer but if ppl come in and are polite i always chat to them. Mind you I do get clicks but thats usually my arthritis. And for those who do insist chat rooms are cliquey dont use them always the choice my friends have fun whatever you are doing Cat xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes we have found that too. Say hi in the room and no one replies so gave up. Tend to private message with ppl we have met up with or who have contacted us directly!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so its not just us that found this then! we are always respectful to everyone in chat as we would expect the same, never rude or direct people to do things, always just start off with a simple hi, but never anything back off the single fems.... not say all are like that, just all the ones that we have tried talking to, they are always the young fems that are red on cam too, they all will talk with each other tho

and by clicky I mean that they all talk to same ppl and only ever reply to men that flood them with compliments...that's why I thought maybe some people like cam as a ego boost and not actualy for chat like it is menna be used for

wouldn't mind private message but they all seem to have blocked theres so cant even do that lol. so it seems like if you aint flooding them with compliments or in there 'gang' them you best not try to talk to these people as its a total waste of time!! again, before ppl get there thongs in a swist... not all are like this must most in our opinion!! thanks for your feed back people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you walked into a crowded romm, would you expect EVERYONE to say hello to you?? I think you would get slighlty bored if they did.

Maybe the ppl who you are trying to chat to are not interested.

Just because a person meets all your preferences, it does not mean you meet theirs!

I was new to the chat rooms, and yes i felt a little intimidated by the ppl that had already met and had friendships established.

Its not clique as you stated, it's just regular ppl who chat daily so have built up chat rapport!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

totaly agree ive tried on few occasions talking an got know were lot if attention when cam goes on ,but then its just men xxx

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"If you walked into a crowded romm, would you expect EVERYONE to say hello to you?? I think you would get slighlty bored if they did.

Maybe the ppl who you are trying to chat to are not interested.

Just because a person meets all your preferences, it does not mean you meet theirs!

I was new to the chat rooms, and yes i felt a little intimidated by the ppl that had already met and had friendships established.

Its not clique as you stated, it's just regular ppl who chat daily so have built up chat rapport!"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i agree you join a room and say hi and you get blanked so yes i think some rooms are clicky

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By *eviousLiasonsCouple
over a year ago

Travelling

"i agree you join a room and say hi and you get blanked so yes i think some rooms are clicky"

If you walked into a crowded pub, full of people chatting in groups, stood in the door way and said "hello", would you expect anyone to break off from their conversation, and reply?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are quite cliquey but I guess that's cause there already friends and meet up etc. You can't speak to everyone and keep everyone happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U HAVE to bite the bullet and not just say Hi because I know for a fact someotimes it does get missed one or two words specially if we are in pms as well cos we have to damn well minimise chat room whichis a pain but just try making convo pick on one particular person and make normal convo should be okay then. have fun

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By *arandjasCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

when we first started chatting in the rooms, i thought it seemed a bit cliquey, but in the rooms, if it is a busy night, it is very easy to miss chat from people, plus add into the equation as someone already said, people may be in pm or just looking through the site, i would advise anyone wanting to go into chat and have fun, just keep going, i always say hi to people when they come in and say hi, if i see it, and i know a ll the folk i chat with do to, so good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not know about the chat rooms because hardly go in them, but find it very cliquey in the forums, say something they don't agree with and the whole lot of them jump on the band-wagon and its always the same people.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

I've been in various chat rooms on quite a few occasions and agree that there's an element of clique-iness (or is it just familiarity?). Breaking into their conversations is not only difficult but not really wanted - who wants a stranger butting in on a conversation?

But even more annoying and frustrating is the common situation whereby most of the room is fawning over some woman with her bits on show.

I've tried over and over not only saying hello but have trying to instigate a conversation by mentioning things such as a local club, asking who attends etc etc only to be totally blanked and instead having to endure the constant stream of inane comments such as 'gorgeous tits' aimed at some woman on cam.

There are only so many times you can try to start a conversation and be ignored before you feel foolish and leave.

I think being on cam and receiving constant compliments IS an ego trip for some women / couples who like to put on a bit of a show and rake in the multitude of nauseatingly sycophantic comments offered by drooling single men.

I don't find the chat rooms much fun and only pop in now and again to see if anything has changed - but it's always the same.

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

It's not just the chatrooms, The whole site feels that way a lot of the time, especially if you are not an attender of socials.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"It's not just the chatrooms, The whole site feels that way a lot of the time, especially if you are not an attender of socials."

Aww - I'll be your friend

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

"It's not just the chatrooms, The whole site feels that way a lot of the time, especially if you are not an attender of socials.

Aww - I'll be your friend

I have fwend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the chat rooms I think

I just join in but found some to be clicky so I just leave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been in various chat rooms on quite a few occasions and agree that there's an element of clique-iness (or is it just familiarity?). Breaking into their conversations is not only difficult but not really wanted - who wants a stranger butting in on a conversation?

But even more annoying and frustrating is the common situation whereby most of the room is fawning over some woman with her bits on show.

There are only so many times you can try to start a conversation and be ignored before you feel foolish and leave.

I don't find the chat rooms much fun and only pop in now and again to see if anything has changed - but it's always the same. "

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By *arandjasCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

To be fair, hubby and i tend to stick to the same chat room, and so do the friends we have made on here, on the few occasions i have ventured into another one of the chat rooms, it was met with varying success, one of the rooms, i was asked why you in here? as though, because i didnt live in that particular area, i wasnt welcome lol but another one couldnt have been friendlier, so i think it just pretty much depends who is on at the particular time you go in, as on here, just like in life, people can just be plain rude at times, but there is always the other side of the coin, the nice folk you meet, in my experience outweigh the rude folk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair, hubby and i tend to stick to the same chat room, and so do the friends we have made on here, on the few occasions i have ventured into another one of the chat rooms, it was met with varying success, one of the rooms, i was asked why you in here? as though, because i didnt live in that particular area, i wasnt welcome lol but another one couldnt have been friendlier, so i think it just pretty much depends who is on at the particular time you go in, as on here, just like in life, people can just be plain rude at times, but there is always the other side of the coin, the nice folk you meet, in my experience outweigh the rude folk

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By *heRainManMan
over a year ago

Warrington & Glasgow

"... the nice folk you meet, in my experience outweigh the rude folk

"
Aw shucks!!

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By *arandjasCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

and the above person is defo one of the nicest ones i have met

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By *otwifeHunter808Man
over a year ago

Bury

"anyone else find that some chat rooms are very clicky? its extremely hard to try and talk to some single fems or couples as you don't even get a polit hi back, even tho there profiles say they are looking for couples!? its very frustrating!

is sit all an ego thing?? do you need to compliment them to be acknowledge....feed back please, where are we going wrong? have other couples/men noticed the same?? xx"
some won't even say hi a lot seem to know each other from clubs and if your not known to them then its enD of

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By *heRainManMan
over a year ago

Warrington & Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 21/04/13 19:54:46]

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By *heRainManMan
over a year ago

Warrington & Glasgow

"some won't even say hi a lot seem to know each other from clubs and if your not known to them then its enD of

"
Actually, I think you'll find that it's the EXACT opposite in the majority of cases! People get to know each other in chat and THEN meet up in clubs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do not know about the chat rooms because hardly go in them, but find it very cliquey in the forums, say something they don't agree with and the whole lot of them jump on the band-wagon and its always the same people.

"
pretty much the same in the chat rooms well one more then the others ( personal pref) but defo agree with if you go in to a chat room and say hi only sometimes you will get a hi back but realy where are you meant to start if its not in chat and how to start you say HI well i do lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agreed definately clicky especially in one particular room "
ohhhhhhh do tell

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But even more annoying and frustrating is the common situation whereby most of the room is fawning over some woman with her bits on show.

There are only so many times you can try to start a conversation and be ignored before you feel foolish and leave.

I don't find the chat rooms much fun and only pop in now and again to see if anything has changed - but it's always the same. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

defo clicky!!!! no I wouldn't expect to walk in a room and everyone say hi..but if I walked in a room and said a polit hi or smiled at someone I would think its only polite to have them say hi back, weather I was there type or not its just common decency!! we say hi to the few people that bother to make the effort with us, even tho its mostly men and we have no intention to meet men right now and half the time they are far from what I find my 'type'

we understand that its hard to keep track of convos when room is busy, but we have tried when room aint busy and still snubbed!!

there is no excusing it!! and don't get us wrong we have friends on chat that we talk to as well as trying to talk to people we would like to meet....these are normally young fems or couples that are similar to us, half just snob you! make us feel like what is the point!? how do you make other friends when people won't give you the time or day unless your on cam with your tits out!!

also noticed some of the fems compete to get the most people looking at there cam by moving there name to the top by putting a full stop in front of there user name.... lol! ego!!

and also jealousy between fems and couples.... talking to a guy on cam who was talking to us and another fem and she wasn't to happy.. its like they feel threatened maybe?

defo agree that theres forms can be horrible with the same people jumping down peoples throats and bullying... but that's for another form lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

oh and when we get snobbed its when are cam is off most the time, when we turn it on its slightly different tho, still single fems won't talk but the couples do!

shouldn't have to have my cam on to talk in chat tho,

get bored of the men and there comments to get my tits out ect, plus some nights im just not in the mood to be on cam for all to see...unless a lovely couple would like us to that is!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont even own a webcam... I talk to all, and most chat with me.

So for me, its not about whether i have a cam on or off !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chat very frequently in the chat rooms, and as a result I have met loads of lovely people, who I would never have met otherwise.

For what it's worth, I would suggest:-

~ when you join a chat room, don't just say 'hi', say 'hi, everyone' or 'hi, all', so that people realise that you have just arrived (otherwise, people may think you're already in a conversation with someone else).

~ don't accept the default black chat colour - choose your own colour, so that your chat stands out.

~ chat to everyone, not just those who are on cam, and not just those that you hope to meet for sex.

~ put your cam on, so that people can see you are who you say you are (faces are good!)

~ come to Chat regularly, don't 'give up' after one or two quiet nights. As others have said, many people in Chat are there several times a week, so they naturally want to keep in touch with each other's news. The way to become one of the popular people in Chat is to chat regularly.

~ take the initiative. Don't wait for someone to talk to you, suss out who is sitting quietly for a time, and start a conversation with them.

~ read profiles before starting a conversation, so you can choose an appropriate topic

~ avoid the overdone topics "who lives in XYZ town?", "where do you live?", "view my cam, please", "I'm bored who wants to chat with me", etc etc etc

~ always remember that upwards of 100 people can read what you type, so remember to keep to the Chat rules and keep it cheerful and light-hearted. Even when you're talking with someone who you DON'T want to meet for sex, there may be someone else (who you DO want to meet for sex) observing the conversation - and you want to make a good impression on them, don't you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've used this site & others for many years, attended Socials, use various Chatrooms & now the Forums. Everywhere I've gone I find a group of folk who are "the regulars" who chat, banter & swap info sometimes on a daily basis.

If I jump to one of the other sites I've not frequented in a while it can change & a new crowd of regulars are present. That doesn't stop me from chatting to them, getting to know them, sometimes becoming involved with that group of individuals.

It doesn't always stop me from welcoming a new person tho due to some current activities with fakes/newbies it does make me a little cautious until I know them better.

I'm sure there are folk think I'm "cliquey" for becoming involved with the In Crowd of Regular Users. I don't see it that way. I'm just more determined than some to get involved in the chat, banter & discussions. It's no different if its a new site or one I've been on for a while, or not used as much as I had previously.

The term "cliquey" is frequently used when someone doesn't want to be involved with a group of individuals or normally used in a disdainful manner, but I think it's just part & parcel of any group who meet or chat regularly.

This may not answer the OPs issue & I'm not suggesting any if this even applies to many of the posters herein. Perhaps folk should ask is "how can I become more effectively involved" & see if that brings about more chat, meets etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"in all the years i have been back and forth not cliquey at all you get really good friends chatting but when someone just comes in and says wanna fuck or show us ya tits we dont answer but if ppl come in and are polite i always chat to them. Mind you I do get clicks but thats usually my arthritis. And for those who do insist chat rooms are cliquey dont use them always the choice my friends have fun whatever you are doing Cat xxx"

Totally agree hun. Me and Andy very rarely enter the chatrooms, but when we do we always get hellos and always get answered if we write anything

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Northern chat is terrible for the clique, but to be honest the forums are just as bad if not worse, especially the thread hijackers whom seem to ruin threads for fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Northern chat is terrible for the clique, but to be honest the forums are just as bad if not worse, especially the thread hijackers whom seem to ruin threads for fun"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree hun. Me and Andy very rarely enter the chatrooms, but when we do we always get hellos and always get answered if we write anything

xxx"

We only started using the chat rooms last week and so far everyone's been very welcoming, got a lot of hellos and all seemed friendly, maybe it's the room or the time we have been on but haven't really found anyone snubbing us yet ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just stick your cam on and join in the conversations I'm sure you will be able to add something to any conversations I'm a single guy on here and always have my cam on although I must admit the wank cams must get much for the single fems n couples on here ... Just stick it out and you will be fine as single guys or groups of single guys always enjoy chatting to couples

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By *onboy45Couple
over a year ago

lincoln

The whole site has become very clicky over the last 2 or 3 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree, also found in one local to me room that if they dont like what you say or you disagree with them they block you, so sad and immature!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Northern chat is terrible for the clique, but to be honest the forums are just as bad if not worse, especially the thread hijackers whom seem to ruin threads for fun"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Northern chat is terrible for the clique, but to be honest the forums are just as bad if not worse, especially the thread hijackers whom seem to ruin threads for fun"

I can honestly and openly state that those in northern aint cliquey I am from scotland and altho I knew some people in there from the old chatrooms the whole room has made me feel welcome.

Folks have to work at chat its like any thing else in life. Go in regular make a convo or join in one.

I use most of the rooms on the site and because of that I have gotten to meet a lot of great folks as when I find them interesting they have great banter and I like to meet up and meet them in person at their socials.

But never once in any room whether I'm on cam or off cam have I been ignored maybe its because I'm a cheeky fkr in the rooms but I'm not nasty cheeky unless its needed but when someone comes in an says hi whether I know them or not I still say hiyas it is polite after all

But even on a good busy day there are loads of diff convos being built up so get brave barge in and join in. Oh and yes I do have my friends in chat that I talk to every day but I still make time for those I don't know.

Have confidence in your selves when you come in chat make your self heard someone will always hear you.

Let folk know its your first time in chat don't winge enjoy it and if ye go in with the attitude that everyone is in a clique then I don't suppose you will get far.

Take time to see who is talking to who. What the different conversations are who is saying what.

Then join in. Oh and never give up its only a chatroom after all.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm surprised this thread has lasted this long, normally when a clique is mentioned the mods are quick to close it down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you walked into a crowded romm, would you expect EVERYONE to say hello to you?? I think you would get slighlty bored if they did.

Maybe the ppl who you are trying to chat to are not interested.

Just because a person meets all your preferences, it does not mean you meet theirs!

I was new to the chat rooms, and yes i felt a little intimidated by the ppl that had already met and had friendships established.

Its not clique as you stated, it's just regular ppl who chat daily so have built up chat rapport!"

ii agree with this... And when people say hi in the room i say hi back.. Well unless im a "tad" bit tipsy... Then im just trying to keep up with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What happened to having fun swinging, I'm new to this and all I have seen is women complaint about men slagging them, blokes bitching about women

Aren't we all adults ? It makes me think why bother.

Just my opinion by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Northern chat is terrible for the clique, but to be honest the forums are just as bad if not worse, especially the thread hijackers whom seem to ruin threads for fun"

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I'm surprised this thread has lasted this long, normally when a clique is mentioned the mods are quick to close it down"

Only when people turn it into a bitchfest.

Happily there are adults debating on this one

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By *z ThongzWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Its hard to say if chatrooms are cliquey , as there are people in these chatrooms who have actually met each other and in a lot of cases have become firm friends , so would u say u were being cliquey if u walked into a pub and acknowledged ur friends before you said hello to a total stranger , think its par for the course on any chat site to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its taken a whie for me (sten) to get people to talk to me in chat when Morrigan is not around but after a while the people that chat with her now chat with me, I dont think its a clique as such its just your a stranger in a room full of friends so you need to introduce yourself and join in with the random confersations, sure you might feel ignored at first but dont give up. I would like to add that having you cam on helps a great deal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Northern chat is terrible for the clique, ......

I can honestly and openly state that those in northern aint cliquey I am from scotland and altho I knew some people in there from the old chatrooms the whole room has made me feel welcome.

....I use most of the rooms on the site and because of that I have gotten to meet a lot of great folks as when I find them interesting they have great banter and I like to meet up and meet them in person at their socials.

But never once in any room whether I'm on cam or off cam have I been ignored ......

But even on a good busy day there are loads of diff convos being built up so get brave barge in and join in. ......

Have confidence in your selves when you come in chat make your self heard someone will always hear you.

Let folk know its your first time in chat ......

Take time to see who is talking to who. What the different conversations are who is saying what.

Then join in. Oh and never give up its only a chatroom after all.

Good luck "

Brilliant advice, Sioux! xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not often i have it sunny but ty heheh xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/13 18:24:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been on this site for years and sorry folks but if you dont put your cam on or play with your tits and fadge you dont seem welcome in chat anymore....

Fact.

You might get hello off two or three but after that get ignored.

Fact..

I dont bother now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not just the chatrooms, The whole site feels that way a lot of the time, especially if you are not an attender of socials."

So agrees and even if you have been you get blanked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so its not just us that found this then! we are always respectful to everyone in chat as we would expect the same, never rude or direct people to do things, always just start off with a simple hi, but never anything back off the single fems.... not say all are like that, just all the ones that we have tried talking to, they are always the young fems that are red on cam too, they all will talk with each other tho

Just a thought, maybe they viewed your profile and decided you weren't right for them, maybe they are focusing their chat on people they find as a suitable meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the key is to haveyour cam on; people seem more willing to chat with someone they see as genuine. But you need to appreciate it's like going into a pub for the first time; it takes time to get to know the regulars.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know of one chatroom that is very cliquey...you could hello all day and be ignored.

Then go on cam with mallery getting her tits out and its " oh hey guys" !!!

Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thanks for all feed back!!

but please no more ''tips'' as I know how to talk to people in rooms!!!!

*never just say hi

*always start by saying hi room or hi everyone!!

*we understand that we aint gonna have the hole room saying hi back!!

*we also look at profiles of people in the room that are looking for couples like us and if we also like them we say hi(there name)

*we are always respectful!!

we aren't asking for tips or advice on how to talk to people in chat, we know how to talk to people! we have made good friends on chat that we talk to all the time, saying that we aint a click and we welcome other people to join....even if they are not are cup of tea

what we are saying is that some people are very clicky and are what we class as rude!! this always happens to be the fems more than couples or men, not saying all are like that as one of are good friends on chat is a fem and what we class as one of the more popular girls

its just the rude people that don't bother even saying hi or only wanna chat if u have cam or giving loads of compliments and kissing ass!!

sorry ass kissing aint r style!!

we have been on chat for some time now and we aint one to go on just to get tits and ass out, we go to make friends, have a laugh and maybe even make possible meets, we will tho have fun every now and then when in the mood!

anyway like I said in reply to the comment about walking in to a bar.... I will say again, I don't expect everyone to turn and si hi but to be snubbed is rude!! if we and other friendly people we have spoken to on chat can be nice and polite why cant they??????????

its just polite!!!! not asking for them to fancy us or meet its just to little letters H and I!! SIMPLE,

please again no more tips lol, find it very patronising

and and defo

to comment above in reply!! very true and that is what we been saying xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see why people don't chat to you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can see why people don't chat to you!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i use the chatrooms alot and i will always make time to say hello and welcome to new people in the room

but sometimes you have to put yourself out to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi everyone this is my first vist to a chat room an first comment is there any point from reading the above I Imagen I may aswell fuckoff now haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep we found that too! Unless my gf has got her tits out or were fucking on cam! Because of this we have given up on the chat rooms! And too be honest getting abit fed of the site now! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And some people get offended too easily!! I regularly use midlands chat and I get on with most, one girl has decided she thinks I'm a twat (she's got good instincts lol) so I don't converse with her, but I didn't suddenly go oh chat is wank!! IMO chat is by far the best way to set up meets as well as you know that the image you see wasn't a photo from 15 years ago

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