FabSwingers.com forum: Fathers conundrum.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My son was born in Feb 2001. In March 2001 I witnessed an biker come off his bike. We were alone and I gave him first aid as best I could for 20 mins till the ambulance arrived. He died in the ambulance. After interview by the police for 3 hours I was allowed home. I cried and cried and promised my sons mother I would not allow him to have a motorbike. She died in 2020 aged 52 due to covid. I passed my bike test in 2019 and love biking but admit whilst I’m a good road user I’m not a particularly skilled or confident rider. I know my limits and as such use a 600 Bandit. My son has just bought a 125 Honda and plans to do his CBT next week. He’s been driving a car since he was 17 1/2 so knows a bit but my heart is in knots, never been so worried for years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss, as your son drives a car he probably will understand now from a bikers view of what car driver see, just tell him to take it slow maybe only ride when roads are not that busy and I'd say go out for a ride with him

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By *ssexmickMan
over a year ago

Rawreth

Sorry for your loss and fully understand your dilema

My son races and he told me he wanted to race at the manx i didnt want him too due to the extra dangers but i changed my mind by going with him to help make it as safe as poss and help prepare the bike

My point is you ride aswell so join him when out riding and enjoy the time together a lot of fathers nd sons dont do enough together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also he can do advance motorcycle training with an expert I think this would also put you at ease

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By *ko12Man
over a year ago

LLANGOLLEN

My son is 32 he has had a bike since he was 17 and got me to buy my first bike so I could go out with him, he is a better rider than me but I still think he takes to many risks when I see him out on his bike. Maybe I am be over cautious but it still worried me when I see him riding. I only passed my bike test when I was 48 as my mother never liked bikes so never learnt to ride when I was younger, but I must say I do now love to get out on the bike even if I am a fair weather rider most of the time

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

I'm sorry you witnessed such a horrible incident. Eight years ago I witnessed and was first on the scene to a car accident where a 21 Year old lady died.

The images never leave you, you're interviewed by the police, accident investigators then the worse bit is when you stand up in front of the family at the inquest.

It's just not a nice thing to have seen but it never stopped me from driving. I've ridden bikes ever since I was 16 and still doing it.

Make sure they have the correct training and can see the dangers, the more they ride, the better they will be.

Since October, I've been to three bikers funerals, they all died of cancer but they enjoyed life.

Best wishes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks folks.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

I put this advice on a lot of threads on our biker section. GET ADVANCED TRAINING something I can't recommend enough to all who ride bikes. I used to be an observer for IAM and witnessed people coming to me very sceptical about the training. Once they had got through it and trained to an advanced standard they admitted the penny dropped very quickly and couldn't thank me enough. Go for it people as it just might save your life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s already been said, but ADVANCED TRAINING, regular refresher courses, and a healthy respect for the road (and also don’t ride when distracted by life’s ups and downs - plenty of time to think about worries etc when you’re not on the bike - if you’re riding then you’re focussed on riding).

I stopped riding (125 on L plates) before my children were born, and only restarted & passed my test to get my first big bike 30 years later knowing that they weren’t dependant on me being around in the event that something should happen to me.

I hope neither of my children ever decide to ride, but if they did then I’d have to make sure they had the proper protective gear, the right road skills and the right attitude and approach.

I understand the dilemma, and wish you and your son all the best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat him to some advanced training. It'll be a fantastic thing for him to do and it's so worth it. It teaches you to watch out for hazards and signs of bad driving. He will also enjoy his riding better.

Take care

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By *ab50Man
over a year ago

bexhill

I've ridden for 30+ years, my lad got his A2 license last year, we joined a lo Al ride out group Nd spent the summer eves pootli V around, going to a pub, Sunday brekky.. Ride out with him and enjoy the time..

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Sorry for your loss.

You can't stop him riding, you can try.

Get him the best gear money can buy, try to persuade him to an advanced rider course.

Then keep puncturing his tyres, he won't be able to get out on the bike.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear , but if he is intent on riding he may do it anyway best to support as best u can maybe even advanced course .

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By *ikerP1000Man
over a year ago

Durham

Absolutely endorse this comment. Advanced Rider training is easily available and not expensive. However, you received accredited training from VERY experienced instructors. I cannot reccomend it highly enough. Oh…. AND once qualified it may see you get an insurance reduction as well as make you a better rider.

"I put this advice on a lot of threads on our biker section. GET ADVANCED TRAINING something I can't recommend enough to all who ride bikes. I used to be an observer for IAM and witnessed people coming to me very sceptical about the training. Once they had got through it and trained to an advanced standard they admitted the penny dropped very quickly and couldn't thank me enough. Go for it people as it just might save your life

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands

The biggest problem is not his advanced training , or his attitude whilst riding, so much as that of other road users. 1 joyriding nutcase and bam.

Not 100% safe in a car , but a damn site safer than being on 2 wheels.

I was a bike rider , and there's a reason when riding that you feel a sense of freedom.its because you're there perched on top a seat , not strapped in with a metal cage around you. I seem to remember an interview with Fogerty years ago. He was asked if he rode for pleasure when he wasn't racing.no chance he said , too bloody dangerous on the roads !

Having said that. Some people go mountain climbing , I don't.

Either way , this is life , not a rehearsal. You choose your own extra risks.

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By *aulusMan
over a year ago

Chester

I lost a couple of good friends to bikes over the years but carried on riding myself until I had a big off about 10 years ago. Not my fault at all and I was very lucky to only end up with minor injuries. But that was it for me. My 2 lads were always brought up around bikes but since then and them seeing what happened to me they now, luckily, have no desire to ride and are into their cars.

I really wouldn't want them to get bikes and would try to put them off if they were thinking about.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"I lost a couple of good friends to bikes over the years but carried on riding myself until I had a big off about 10 years ago. Not my fault at all and I was very lucky to only end up with minor injuries. But that was it for me. My 2 lads were always brought up around bikes but since then and them seeing what happened to me they now, luckily, have no desire to ride and are into their cars.

I really wouldn't want them to get bikes and would try to put them off if they were thinking about."

I don't know anyone personally who has been killed on a bike but have had the misfortune of a family member, a friend and an acquaintance being in fatal incidents in cars. The roads are a dangerous place to be no matter what type of transport it is. Motorcycling is a passion as cars are for other people. Life is for living and living your best life

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By *ikergent50Man
over a year ago

bathgate

Sorry for your loss . I agree with all the advice above but as a biker father of a biker son as well i get worried and nervous every time he goes out and that will never change .. the only advice I would add is tell him to think for the car drivers and always assume that they have not seen him it’s not easy but going out with him will help you and him especially given your recent loss

I ride an mt10 and fortunately my son knows that tgat is too much for him to handle just now so that helps me knowing he’s being sensible

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By *ikergent50Man
over a year ago

bathgate

I had a friend who was in a bad accident and had to give up riding as a result of the injury he sustained.. broke his heart more than the arms and legs and shattered hands

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Update, he did his CBT yesterday, taxed and insured his Honda 125 last night and took himself out today. He’s buzzing and plans to do his A2 licence this summer.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"Update, he did his CBT yesterday, taxed and insured his Honda 125 last night and took himself out today. He’s buzzing and plans to do his A2 licence this summer."

Well done him. His adventures start today. Roll on progression and bigger bike

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He wants to go to the IOM with a mate but been told learners are not allowed. Is that true?

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"He wants to go to the IOM with a mate but been told learners are not allowed. Is that true? "

That is true, you aren't allowed to visit IOM with L plates at any time of the year

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He wants to go to the IOM with a mate but been told learners are not allowed. Is that true?

That is true, you aren't allowed to visit IOM with L plates at any time of the year

Thanks for clearing that up. How do the locals learn to ride/ drive or is it just visitors?

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"He wants to go to the IOM with a mate but been told learners are not allowed. Is that true?

That is true, you aren't allowed to visit IOM with L plates at any time of the year

Thanks for clearing that up. How do the locals learn to ride/ drive or is it just visitors? "

Visitors. They don't allow caravans on the Island either. TT they do allow teams to take caravans to the paddock from the ferry and back

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